thirty.

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At Wirk

3:15

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Guess I'm getting old, man: f*ck that sucks
Bo Burnham got a grammy nom, but here I am stuck
Not inside, per se, but been held in a way
Can't escape the place behind the face: a case of bad luck
But perspectively, objectively: things are pretty good
The f*ck I need a mansion for? No Hills of Hollywood
Calling my name: that shit got nothing for me
LA's kinda boring
Or maybe I'm scared it would absorb me
The last ten years feel like the only ones I've lived
Been going through old memories like stories that're told to kids
Before the medication I'm taking made me complacent
With hindsight 2020 + 1: there's still pain in it
But even with this decade of life, what have I made of me?
Forty blocks south down an isle of concrete
Dreaming's not the issue: I just couldn't commit
My obit'll be a list of shit I wouldn't make fit
I'm on the eve of 30 I've been scrolling 40 minutes
Seeing 50 fucking kids, making 60 what I did
And it's feeling like 20 was my chance be a 10
But as I'm lookin at the mirror I'm a zero instead
I'm on the eve of 30 I've been scrolling 40 minutes
Seeing 50 fucking kids, making 60 what I did
And it's feeling like 20 was my chance be a 10
But as I'm lookin at the mirror I'm a zero instead
F*ck
But I guess that's today
A third of kids when questioned want influence this way
YouTuber, TikToker, or whatever's comin next
And how could they not want to preach? #blessed
It's the best... yes? Well, for most, a bit less
Just a fraction making money, smaller fraction making rent
All the rest are out here drowning in an ocean of content
Dragged under, screams full of thoughts they were god-sent
Younger generations taught to want to make a difference
Pull some meaning from a world that regards em with disinterest
Getting harder every year: the population just keeps growing
Water rising, species dying: no signs our climate's slowin
Is it hopeless? I gotta know this
I need a way to show my future self there's something to roll with
Or else what's the point that I wrote this and spoke this?
Gotta hold on to something in this void I'm enrobed in
I'm at the edge of 30 I've been crying 40 minutes
Over 50 guys just like me flexing 60 what I've got
Had I thought to start by 20 maybe coulda been at 10
But I didn't get out of a bed, so I'm a zero instead
I'm at the edge of 30 I've been crying 40 minutes
Over 50 guys just like me flexing 60 what I've got
Had I thought to start by 20 maybe coulda been at 10
But I didn't get out of a bed, so I'm a zero instead
Ugh
Well, age is just a number right
That bullshit motivation or justification for a crime
Inspiring with impact font, black borders, and a cat pic
Convinced the younger dumber me that somehow I had this
But the decades culminate; cynicism cuts through
Idealism begets realism
It's pessimism but new
Jaded glasses looking forward, with no roses looking back
The longer that I keep going, the more it feels like a track (I'm trapped)
24: I had my crisis saw diverging paths before me
Emergent options spanned horizons, but the fact is I chose boring
Early mornings with a bedtime... I'm still 30 years sober
Friendships withering on vines, and no one cares when it's over
Rollercoaster's getting slower; I can get off anytime
Just clock the nine to five with f*ck all else inside my mind
But I won't live way; truly, anything's better
So bring me in, cut me up: I can bleed out in letters

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