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Matty Lloyd

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Okay
My tongues a little ruthless
Still I'm cautious
Fortunate enough to have managed
To steer clear of any type of major negative drama
Yet seem to be fast allowing myself to become this reclusive
Character
Was always pushed out the way either considered Meh
Or specifically chosen to learn 
From the outcome of other people's mistakes I guess its all that it takes
But bonds break as you grow and start to move in separate ways
Attitudes and circles change
Some with a blatant look of resentment in their face
So I guess I'm just an acquaintance
Added to a long list of names to communicate 
With on some one else's Facebook page
I guess it's fair to say I've drifted apart from half of my mates
Left on my J's and lucky if I'm ever on the streets hearing anybody say
There's fanny out tonight
Come on Bruv let's go play

Don't mind me
I'm just being open
Better out than in
This just years pent up with no one listening
Not going deep
Not even going in

Don't mind me
I'm just being open
Better out than in
This just years pent up with no one listening
Not going deep
Not even going in

Like I'm shy
Wasn't blessed with the gift of gab in the presence of women
More than likely to blush red when making any direct eye contact
Considered cute or sweet then left pissed
Because i'm lucky if it ever goes beyond that
And if it does then theres usually a catch
Such a bad predicament 
As I tend to play awkward with the types that I attract
And the types that I attract wait 
Until I'm whipped before they stab me in the back
More than just a little self conscious
In a dead end
Depending heavily on meeting girlfriends through my circle of friends
But way to scared to commit to relationships 
In which I'm expected to take take on a fathers role
Raise another mans child I couldn't do it so why pretend?
They say your supposed to lead by example I was a fatherless child
He chose to spend his days wasted
Alcohol intoxicated
Never had no firm Father Son Relationship

Don't mind me
I'm just being open
Better out than in
This just years pent up with no one listening
Not going deep
Not even going in

Don't mind me
I'm just being open
Better out than in
This just years pent up with no one listening
Not going deep
Not even going in

So I'm the youngest of 5 siblings 2 of sexually abused as children
Suppose it was a contribution into both their suicides
Leaving me all empty no real emotion in my eyes 
Just determination to go and do something with my life
I might have touched a nerve or 2
How many things expected to keep bottled up inside a few it isn't right
If only you knew exactly what my mind was like
Thick skinned all tough on the outside
Which is expected from most guys at all times
Apparent weakness
Opens up the doors for others to try and take advantage
Until eventually your isolated held hostage by your own paranoia
Potential dangerous consequences could make a man flip
Become a bit of a live wire capable of actions completely out of character
Under the most minimal amount of pressure

Don't mind me
I'm just being open
Better out than in
This just years pent up with no one listening
Not going deep
Not even going in

Don't mind me
I'm just being open
Better out than in
This just years pent up with no one listening
Not going deep
Not even going in

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