Hopeless

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VECT

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It's about 10 O clock thinkin' sittin' in the dark
Of how many times my hopes ripped apart
Pondering ideal thoughts something pleasant
Got 2 bucks to my name livin' like a peasant
Still thinkin' of my old unreached dreams
Falling slow but deeper I can only scream
Misunderstood by whoever I speak to
Hope is something I no longer seek through
My dream is crushing but I keep bustin'
I beat myself in the head as I'm cussin'
When hope builds & flies all around
It falls from the sky dead on the ground
Shattered hopes & dreams by the slicer
For every time I thought things would get nicer
Worried thoughts run all through my head
I wanna keep it silent & cool but then I'd have to pretend

Every time I hope
It brings me hurt
'Cause every time I do it
It becomes cursed

Everyone calls me negative 'cause I have no faith
What's faith? I hoped like you said it never went your way
It's like firing a gun straight up to the sky
& watching the bullet land straight in my eye
I prepare for & expect the worst
Nowadays that's the way I gotta be
'Cause things are ugly been too much to see
My name ain't fiction it's maniacal V
& this ain't a fairytale it's l-i-f-e
I don't need to have my heart set on something I need
I lost too much depending on hope
It broke me for years till I slashed it's throat
It's something that's a fantasy never to rely on
That's a cloud that I'm done trying to fly on
I make things happen if it's in my control
But if it's not I just let things roll

All the lies all the fallbacks & disappointment
Gave me wounds & giving up is the best ointment
I don't go for a tease I let it come to me
'Cause hope is a prayer for a want or a need
I don't look forward I just look as it comes
I just deal with it & stay real with it
Faithless after all the stabs & let downs
Think I'm bullshittin'? Go ahead & place your bet down
For so long I've tried to make things happen
By the time I got close it was already crappin'
I'm not here trying to tell you to quit
But as for me hope's just a bitch
So I let things be & see what they show
Never again will I believe in hope
No NEVER again will I believe in hope

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