ODSP

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Panicky Pete

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I find it hard to pick up the phone
Remembering the time you told me I'm on my own
Took me three years to learn that it was a lie
You could have lift this heavy burden that's got me wanting to die but
Don't know if I can trust again
Won't even tell my friends where exactly I've been
I guess I'll carry on just smiling
And hope nobody sees the hell that lies within
But here we go again
With paper work and three hours of processing
Come back in three weeks if you hear nothing
Only to be told "You sure you ever came in?"
Well here I am
Stuck all alone in my head again
Starting to think that they want me dead
Maybe it's just me
I know at least I did
But it comes back in waves
Telling me how much I hate this place
Making me feel like I want to just erase
Myself from the world and make it all go away
I know I'm not alone
I know that I'm lucky I've got a place to go
But it doesn't take away from pain I know
They only mean well but it's time I go
Because I'm really struggling
To keep it all together at family gatherings
Maybe I should just be alone and then
I could never hurt anyone I love again
Well here I am
Stuck all alone in my head again
Starting to think that they want me dead
But maybe it's just me
I know at least I did
But they call back again
And this time I'll be more prepared than them
Gunna play by the rules they try to bend
But it doesn't even matter never gonna let them win
But It's not for years we'll see
Any type of benefit or help that we need
Tell me why a home would negate a disease
When I can't even work let alone afford to leave

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