Freedom of Speech the No Bullcrap Interpretation

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Arizona Boom Stick Company Band

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Congress shall make no law respecting
An establishment of religion
Or prohibiting the free exercise thereof
Or abridging the freedom of speech
Or of the press
Or the right of the people peaceably to assemble
And to petition the Government for a redress of grievances
Neither the House of Representatives, nor the Senate are allowed To even think about Making an official
Religion of the United States of America
Nor are they allowed make any laws
Prohibiting people from practicing any religion
Or restrict them from practicing that religion
In regards to where, when, or how they practice religion
Or to impose emergency restrictions on that practice
As long as they are not doing anything absolutely ridiculously Illegal like performing Human sacrifice for example
Furthermore the House and the Senate are Prohibited from passing
Laws giving anyone the authority to tell people or the press
What to say or what not to say or
Where they can or cannot say it
On top of that, The House and the Senate are also
Not allowed to even think about laws that
Restrict the freedom of speech by
Cutting people off or censoring them
Or by only allowing them to talk only about certain subjects
Or by accusing them of not being in their place
Or by accusing them of being offensive
Or by accusing them of not being smart enough
Or qualified enough to talk on the subject
Nor are they simply allowed to call people
Stupid or prone to fantasy
And attack the person's credentials instead of
Attacking the substance of what they are saying
And last but not least, congress shall pass no law that allows
Only certain people to address The Government or to speak and be
Heard if they think the government has wronged them somehow
Oh say does that Star-Spangled Banner yet wave
For the land of the free and the home of the Brave

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