What You Wanted

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Figures in Fiction

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I let you fool me once
You call it a cure, but I call it sickness
I let you win once
Rest assured, I won't let you again
Try to shame me for who I am
Want me to change just to fit your vision
But no one can fix what isn't broken
So I'm just gonna try to stay golden

I thought your words sounded prophetic like sage advice
But now your empty threats 
Only come off as pathetic
Trying to lead me to a light that only shines inside your mind
You're like a lighthouse leading ships astray
What "works" for you just will not work for me

I was willing to admit you were perfect in my eyes
I was willing to look up to you
I was hoping you could still be a reason to keep hope alive
When it was nowhere in sight
Now you're saying that you can't approve?
That these last almost twenty years mean nothing to you 

If I follow my heart and strive For light in the dark?
How is that not what you wanted from the start?

Before I grew a spine and moved on with my life
I would go to bed covered in bruises Self-inflicted
Beat myself up over something that shouldn't make sense
I guess I'm one of the dead men that they said could still keep a secret

I was willing to admit you were perfect in my eyes
I was willing to look up to you
I was hoping you could still be a reason to keep hope alive 
When it was nowhere in sight
Now you're saying that you can't approve?
That these last almost twenty years mean nothing to you 
If I follow my heart and strive For light in the dark?
How is that not what you wanted from the start?

Never again will I let you win
Never again will I let you slither your way into my head
I won't deal in your false doctrines
Never again will I let you win
Never again will I let you slither your way into my head
I won't deal in your false doctrines

I won't let you win

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