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Ceo.wav & Ja-P

4:27

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What the f*ck did you expect
I'm a rapping ass nigga
With some shit that's on my chest
I don't have to answer to no one
That's coming for my neck
A bunch of fake ass people that tried to message me direct

Get the hell up off my phone
I know everyone's some shit
All the people that say they know me say that Ja-P is a bitch
I can take it though
I know I've been solo on hiatus mode
Some say I'm a coward but most say I have the bravest soul

And they would know, they actually saw, what I was aiming for
Shit I still loved her, couldn't go through that engagement though
I made it so, we could be together just at different homes
You said it wouldn't work, your insecurities would take control

I told you that I'd lay with you, even after the break up
If I knew what I know today, I would've never tried to make up
Shit you tricked me like you always have
Trapped me and you know did
Told me if I left you, you would make sure I would pay for it

And nobody gon' take my shit
A black man battling a white girl
Who the f*ck gon' listen to me
Said I've been working heavy, working out, and working on beats
I even found me a queen
She worked my ass off the streets

And she love every screw and nut, shit it don't have fit her
Never thought I'd love again, but I done reconsidered
And I was livid when I saw you post, I'm balling my fist
But then my pop reminded me that I can't fall for that shit

You tried to get me out my character
I can't believe I fucking cared for her
But now I'm just relieved I didn't marry her
Shit was scary I was turning into somebody unrecognizable
I knew that it was time to go
But you said it was

Okay, we were miserable
As long as I would stay with you for clout, it was give and go
I even set the pick and roll, but you ain't even pass it
You just shot up at the basket
Thinking you could make it happen, but you air balled

Contradicting in every conversation, I hear y'all
Meet me at the airport cargo station, I dare y'all
I don't even wanna scare y'all
I made a call to my uncle told em I was
Leaving, I'm tired
Of living like I gotta demon inside

I'm screaming and yelling, every fucking night
Losing my voice
And once I saw it getting worse
Shit I had no choice

I found myself
Drinking more, smoking more, eating less
I just want my position to be addressed
But I feel like I need surveillance so you see that I'm not faking
I'm fucking done with it

I'm fucking done with it too
It's like the Love Sosa intro, they them fuckers in school
Telling us life advice, to feel like they're better people
They said that I should grab it by the horns but I can't comfort the bull

This isn't comfy at all
But I know something is wrong
I'll have this chemical imbalance til I fucking dissolve, I told my
Parents I'm never having kids so I don't pass the torch of mental illness
And see them fight the shit their father still is

And they said how so? I forgot I put on a facade
Just so they never would worry or know about those
Times, that I been weighing my options, so if you bring it up
I'm what a pop fly to the center field is, I'm out though

My bases covered, I'll be fine but I need a day to suffer
Now I got to work on me, before it takes me under
Makes me wonder, when I asked for help I had to take a number
Made me number, friends I confide in told me it made me tougher

But now I'm blind to the bigger picture, they made it buffer
They recovered, that's what happens when people use you
I told my girl I'd rather have loose screws than lose you
I know what to do for her cuz it's everything they refused to

They can drive through and get fucked up like a Brew Thru
Look what it's been reduced to when advocacy don't suit you
When I was holding on by a thread
One of y'all came to visit
Then you shut the door on me treating shit like a loose tooth

You saw me there and said I faked my death
When it took everything I had so I don't take what's left
People need me, I can't be who they scared for
Put a band in and bet you won't stick around for the people you say you're there for

It's easy money my way, don't bet against the odds
I've been going through so much shit, I forget there was a cause
I've been, paying for so much, I stopped, checking for the cost
And I pray that I have so much that I forget there was a loss

I'm fucking working on it
Give me time to get right
The only way is up but I'm just terrified of my heights
I'm fucking winded, but when did it matter if I'm alright
I put all of that shit aside and I just fight for my life

If I don't win them all
I guess myself is to blame
Can't see the bigger picture, but I'm never sellin' the frame
Ja-P and I did a project just to pick each other up
It didn't work out, and that's the reason Welp is the name
We tried

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