Expire

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Circa '94.

5:01

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There's a date over my head
Marking off the days with a ballpoint pen
The calendars are screaming at me, telling me soon I'll be dead
And the clocks are laughing at me, saying it's just all in my head
I'll take my time but time always seems to hurry up
Seconds go by and suddenly the day is done
There's a timer in my chest counting down from my heartbeat until I'm dead
It's a cycle coming for me again tomorrow morning

It's this bizarre fixation that's keeping me alive
Feels like my whole life's revolving around when I expire
I wanna take life and make it beautiful
I wanna show death I can be something useful

My will to live is stronger than my fear of death
But every second I get closer to my final breath
I can't sleep for the fear that I'll never wake again
Thoughts penetrating my brain, saying cancer's spreading in my veins
Still praying to a god I'm sure had left me abandoned
I don't know who I am to you but I'm sure you'll understand my pleas
Please, I need release
I'm sick to death of feeling like I'm full of disease

It's this bizarre fixation that's keeping me alive
Feels like my whole life's revolving around when I expire
I wanna take life and make it beautiful
I wanna show death I can be something useful

I don't know what's waiting for me on the other side
But if the devil's got my number he's in for a hell of a surprise
I've been trying to grab onto heaven for years but I'm starting to lose my grip
If there's nothing left for me after this, can I say it's all really worth it?

My brain's locked inside my skull like a cage
My soul's trying to claw its way out but there's no escape
Purge with a panic attack, I can't keep carrying this casket that's on my back
Or else the fear of death will be the death of me

It's this bizarre fixation that's keeping me alive
Feels like my whole life's revolving around when I expire
I wanna take life and make it beautiful
I wanna show death I can be something useful
It's this bizarre fixation that's keeping me alive
Feels like my whole life's revolving around when I expire
I wanna take life and make it beautiful
I wanna show death I can be something useful
I wanna show death that I can be someone

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