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DubVin

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Ever lose your purpose in life?
On the surface alright
Up til the dead of night
All you can do is write
Another sad song no one will hear
Tell yourself it'll change this year
You start believing that even feel some hope
Til life laughs in your face its one big joke
This ain't funny I'm suffocating
I think that I'm going crazy
My dream I'm hallucinating
You should try self medicating
That only helps me quicken the spiral
Down the rabbit hole dark side like I'm Kylo
Drink another bottle like it'll fill the hollow
I feel inside, I'll be better tomorrow
Morning comes I'm still the same
Still trapped in this fucked up brain
Maybe I'll go Kurt Kobain
Ha ha
Nah' I'm just playin'
Promise that I'm only joking
At least partly heart is broken
Mind is lost so I been smoking
Yes depressed but I am coping
Not in a healthy way okay
But in a way that works for me
No way I'll say I'm not okay
I don't rely on nobody
Why would I open up and trust
Especially to the ones I love
Put the walls up to keep me warm
Trapped in by the never ending storm
Joke's on me ha ha HA HA HA
For thinking I could get betta
"Dub you're down? Oh well, whatever"
If this was my final letter
Hope you know I fought my hardest
Won't give in when the void is darkest
I fell in, I'm still in Hell
I hide it hope you can't tell
So I joke to cover up
And make you laugh hope that's enough
To blind you from this rut I'm stuck
And standing in front of a speeding truck
Promise that I'm, wait not yet
Got a lot to say my mind's a mess
Truth is I'm the architect
To my own pain, still blame the guest
In my head, but nope he's me
No room inside for company
Talk down to myself, "You're not worthy"
Worst part is that I believe
Though I know my skill's the best
When it comes to ripping written's there's no contest
I'll rip 'em all to ribbons oh what a mess
But life outside the mic is just a jest
I can barely tread the water
If I drown its only Karma
My past deeds finally caught up
White knight? Nah, I'm more like Walter
Enemy lines where I stand, I am
Gonna be fine, Nah, I am lyin'
No purple suit but I am dangerous
Laughing as if my face was painted
This ain't funny I'm suffocating
Feel like Heath these pills I'm taking
Ha ha ha laugh at the aching
I think it's myself I'm hating
Denial ain't where I been living in
I embrace my inner sinner man
Hits hard though some nights are different
Even when I should be grinning big
Lost and drunk to be alone
Don't know where I plan to go
But my notebook's full of jokes
Like "Vin you should hold onto hope"
One day soon you'll be happy
Paint the smile keep them deceived
Don't you see? The joke's on me
Jokes on me
Jokes on me

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