INSANITY

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CHAN LEE

3:14

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Once upon a time
There was a little girl
She was different
Defiant
Queased at normality
She heard what they said about her
Too aggressive
Disobedient
Her brain didn't work the same as others
And most people
Well they thought she was crazy
Honestly, maybe she was crazy

Now I'm crying in the middle of class
Freaked out
Everybody in the room thinks I'm a freak now
The teacher says
Chantelle what's wrong with you
But I really don't know
This is only grade two
And I'm already having my first panic attack
This is why I'm so shy
And I sit in the back
This is why as an adult I don't want to chat
Small talk at work
Social skills I lack

Ahhhhh
Screaming inside my head like
Screaming inside my head like
Screaming inside my head like
Help me

I'm the border of mastermind and insane
I heard the doc
They might lobotomize my brain
I heard I might have to take these meds
That might sterilize me
Just to keep me brain dead

Alright, deep breaths now
While keeping calm
Focusing on taking all that negativity
And purging it out of your body
Good, good, now focus on the mantra and repeat after me
I too can be normal

Sometimes I'm okay
Sometimes I'm not
I think sometimes
Darkness creeps into my thoughts
It tells me stories
Really spooky shit
It makes me wonder if this life is worth it
I look at my wrists
And all I see is blood
I'm back in time
When my feelings ran a muck
When my brain kept saying
Come on let's give up
When the only thing I chased
Was a cheap liquor buzz

Haaaaah am I okay now
Haaaaah am I okay now
Haaaaaahh am I okay now
I guess I just gotta be okay now

I'm on the border of mastermind and insane
I heard the doc
They might lobotomize my brain
I heard I might have to take these meds
That my might sterilize me
Just keep me brain dead

Don't eat that
Suck in your stomach
Fix your hair
Be presentable
Smile when a man talks to you
If you are not perfect
Then you are nothing
Didn't you know
Beauty hurts

But I'm better now
At least that's what I tell myself
I'm in therapy
Yes I'm seeking help
It's different now
But I still cry in the car
Honestly have I really even come that far

Now I'm an adult
And I'm angry all the time
I copped an assault charge
I guess it's about time
Have unresolved trauma
That I haven't addressed
But my therapist just wants to talk common sense

Ahhhhh
Screaming inside my head like
Screaming inside my head like
Screaming inside my head like
Help me

I'm the border of mastermind and insane
I heard the doc
They might lobotomize my brain
I heard I might have to take these meds
That might sterilize me
Just to keep me brain dead

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