Murder Ballad No. 10
James Booth & The Return
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Harold Hoppus sat in his velvet reclining chair Sipping a glass of scotch and reading The previous evening's edition of the post It was Sunday The sunlight in his living room was disappearing And he wanted to enjoy the few hours of leisure He had left before he had To go to work again in the morning He got as far as the end of the sports section before his wife Karen, asked him to tuck their 6 year-old daughter Jenny in He dutifully obliged; he took her up Made sure she brushed her teeth Combed her hair and trimmed her nails He helped her into her Disney-themed pajamas And reminded her to say her prayers They knelt down together, recited Psalm 23 And started asking the Lord above to Bless the beloved people in their lives It was at that moment that Jenny said, in a quiet monotone "God bless mommy, God bless daddy God bless grandma, and Goodbye Grandpa" He looked at her, puzzled, and asked her If she had meant to say, "God BLESS Grandpa" "Isn't that what I said?" Worries about a possible Mental disorder flashed through Harold's mind But he decided he was too tired to think about it at this hour He kissed Jenny goodnight, turned out the lights And closed the door, readying himself for the day to come 13 hours later, the business meeting Harold had been Carefully preparing for— a meeting that, for all intents And purposes, was essential to the future of his company Was rudely interrupted by his secretary, Josephine Gracelessly barging into the room to inform him Of his wife, on the telephone with an urgent matter That couldn't wait Clumsily exiting the meeting, he got to his office and Picked up the phone, informed by a screaming and hysterical Karen that her father Ben had died suddenly of an aneurysm Harold's heart sank; he had always liked Ben And was always thankful for the wedding dowery with Which he had purchased their home But the sadness was soon driven out by a feeling akin To that of Deja Vú: It was something Jenny said the previous night: "Goodbye Grandpa" What did that mean? He brushed it off It was just a coincidence. He grabbed his coat Walked out of his office, gave a vague Unsatisfying hand gesture to his co-workers In the conference room, and rushed home A couple of days later, the house was full of various dishes Flowers, fruit baskets, and gifts The Hoppus' next door neighbor, Pete Freitag Had bought Jenny a giant teddy-bear named "Ben" to help combat her grief Harold appreciated the gesture But it did not help to quell the long-lasting dislike He held for his neighbor. Even so, it had managed to stop poor Jenny from crying Even if only for an hour or two. As the sun went down, and Harold had ignored 15 different business calls in order to focus On his wife and child, Karen had decided it was time For her daughter to head to bed Harold carried her up, and to his surprise Exhausted though she was, Jenny said She wanted to say a prayer for Grandpa As they had done on previous nights They knelt, recited Psalm 23 Before Jenny said, in that same quiet monotone "God bless mommy, God bless daddy God bless grandpa, and Goodbye Grandma" It was at this moment that Harold Had grabbed his daughter's arm And demanded to know why She had just said what she said In response, Jenny started to tear up again Insisting that she didn't know what he was talking about And that he was hurting her arm. He profusely apologized, kissed her on the forehead And placed the teddy bear next to her for company Harold and Karen awoke the next morning To the news that Karen's mother had, in her grief Suffered a stroke and died in the night Karen, already numb from the loss of her father Decided to stay in bed most of the week And Harold, ever the loving husband Dared not leave the house for fear of Any other tragedy occurring As he answered the door, accepting even more food Flowers, fruit baskets and gifts, The prayers of his daughter from the evenings previous Echoed through his head "Goodbye Grandpa" and "Goodbye Grandma" Surely, this was more than horrible coincidence Was it, perhaps, a Godlike ability To predict at leisure the death of loved ones Or was she channeling something from Beyond the shuffles of this mortal coil This and more he pondered, sitting in his velvet chair Watching his daughter hug the oversized teddy bear Courtesy of Peter Freitag That evening, as he brought his daughter up to her bedroom He heard, once again, her insistence On saying her nightly prayers Panicked at the idea of her Possibly continuing her chain of death warrants He told her that it was okay; that God knew what she felt inside And that she should go right to sleep So she would feel better in the morning She nodded silently, and fell asleep almost instantly As he left the room At 1:32 A.M., Harold awoke with the overwhelming need To visit the bathroom. He walked stiffly down the hall And as he answered the call of nature He tried to think of what he would say to his boss to explain The abandonment of his office for the past week or so. He washed his hands, ran his fingers through his hair And turned out the lights— when he heard from Jenny's room "God Bless Grandma, God Bless Grandpa God bless Mommy, and Goodbye Daddy" Harold's eyes opened wide, and a cold sweat broke on his brow He opened the door to Jenny's room, but found her sound asleep As if she had not moved since he had left her. Without thinking about it, he flew back into his bedroom Changed into his work clothes, went out the door Into his car, and drove the speed limit to his office From that point on, Harold planted himself to his chair Turning on the fan, closing his blinds And opening the door only briefly to instruct his secretary To hold all calls for the rest of the day In hindsight, he realized the safe thing to do Would have been to stay in his house But his heart was thumping and his thoughts Were sicklied o'er with a pale cast of panic Staring at the clock, his hands started twitching without control This could be it; this could be the end Oh God, what then? Hell? Heaven There was so much he wanted to do, so much he needed to do Watch Jenny grow up, refinish the Kitchen Take Karen on that trip to England They had talked about so much… Was this it Was this the curtain falling on this brief stage of life As the seconds ticked away, he knew that if this was it If this was his final 24 hours on earth There was only one thing he wanted More than anything in the world The only thing that would make him feel better About the phone that kept ringing off the hook And the incessant knocking on his office door With a sudden sense of ease Harold Hoppus reached into the lower right drawer Of his office desk, and pulled out a pack of Red Apple Cigarettes He had quit when Jenny was born As a favor to his wife But lord help him he missed it The ritual The stimulation The feeling of fire that rushed through his lungs He pulled out a lighter from the right hand drawer Lit the cigarette in his mouth, and inhaled Hallelujah, Salvation, Harold thought to himself If this how he was going to go out He was taking Old Man Tobacco with him Night fell on the office, and Harold was once again all alone Staring at the clock through a now smoke filled room As 1:32 AM inched closer and closer He waited for something to happen to him A heart attack, a stroke, a meteorite, anything He no longer felt afraid An overwhelming sense of peace prevailed over him Or perhaps it was just the nicotine In any case, he closed his eyes Waiting for oblivion to happen upon him. When he opened his eyes five minutes later And found that nothing had happened to him He was confused, but relieved He looked up and mouthed a small "thank you" To the ceiling, grateful that he had been spared The same fate of his in-laws He put on his coat, and opened the door to his office Noticing, in his mailbox, a letter from his boss He opened it, and found a letter of termination Citing his recent erratic behavior That struck fear and anxiety into his coworkers Normally,
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"Murder Ballad No. 10 Lyrics." Lyrics.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 9 May 2024. <https://www.lyrics.com/lyric-lf/5831403/James+Booth+%26+The+Return/Murder+Ballad+No.+10>.
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