Forever Alone

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Ely Waves

3:24

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Listen, you know boyfifty always hits me different
Long time I've been vibing with em
Painting pictures of myself going shape shifter
I go from confident to hate myself in two seconds
I can't function, I don't get this
I'm still nothing, so keep guessing
But the answer to my question is a second question
Another lesson never learned through my adolescence
When we could've just addressed it
Instead of self suppressing
Realizing mid pubescent I was moving at
A lessor pace, impressionable age
I swear I hated myself, my soul was shaded in grey
I just wish I could've loved me but I haven't since the surgeries
When the doctors tried to murder me, keep handing me pills
They tried to burden me I'm weak and I can't even feel
They keep handing me pills
They tried to burden me I'm weak and I can't even feel
I'm so lonely
So lonely, I can't take it anymore
So lonely, why you walking out the door?
This is genuine the realest shit I ever said
And I was hoping it would show, I'm in my element
I am more than just a flow this is my soul inside a page
Filled with all my pain, I'm dying rich or writing broke
My whole entire life that's all I wanted
Was just to be something cause nobody ever believed in me
I had this dream, nobody else seemed to see
I told myself so many times, that it's etched into me
Like a tattoo, and I ain't even got one, I ain't have to
It's scarred into my heart from living life the way I have to
See I'm feeling like I'm standing on edge of a cliff
But this ain't a fucking dream, there ain't no waking up from this
You want to know the truth
And what hurts the most, was ever loving you
You ripped me down to pieces, you broke me into two
And I don't know what I should do
See I'm looking everywhere and everywhere I'm seeing you
In my room, in my car, that's why I just keep on sleeping on my couch
And I ain't sleeping that much, I've been smoking too much
I'm just tryna numb myself because I don't wanna feel alive
And that's the truth
And the only place when I can let it loose, is when I'm rapping in this booth

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