Off My Chest

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Zealin

4:32

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Ayo
Listen
Lately I been so depressed
Maybe it's because how often that I been holding stress
Praying to god because I don't fuckin know what's next
Thought my issues would just leave at the arrival of a folded check
I don't want my parents to come and visit
I don't want my grandma to ask me bout the life that I been living
Cuz I can't tell her I wanna smoke cuz the shit that got me tripping
I don't wanna talk to nobody, maybe that's why I been distant
I don't want my pops to see the pain that I been going through
What the f*ck I'm even supposed to say to that Samoan fool
I don't wanna tell my mom the mental that I've grown into
How the f*ck I know this the life god had me sewn into
How much pain you gotta spill or hide for them to notice you
Where do I go on this path of life if it's a road of 2
Maybe it's from the years of growing up with embarrassment
Maybe it's time to look at my life and actually learn to cherish it
I was only 15, I felt I had no options
I know that sounds dumb but I felt failure way too often
Maybe it's the problem of no motivation
Maybe I'm scared to open up that door cuz I don't know what's waiting
I'm tryna make it inside of this game
But the game as a whole is where I'm aiming
So maybe I needa dig deeper into myself
And as we all know that ain't no vacation
All these thoughts on my shoulders, I feel em weighing down
If Eli saw where I was at, I wonder what he'd be saying now
Never told you bout the night I had to try and stay alive
So when I heard bout you, had flashbacks that shit made me cry
First one to tell me I can make something off of music
So now I gotta put in all that effort
And yeah I know that you is gone dawg
But now I can write you in these songs
So now you'll live forever

So now you'll live forever
Yeah
I tried to take a break
Say "Stop what's next?"
Had alotta shit on mind
Get it off my chest
Had to get it off my chest
Yeah

'Member the cool kids at school that came popping and flexing
I see these muhfuckas moochin' off they mommas credit
Ima take this ride to the top, I'll walk if it's empty
Never check my mag
I know how many shots I'm left with
I did alotta shit but know I have honest presence
Tryna make money, rappers show off and then I watch em stretch it
I know the kinds of things in life that I want to be blessed with
So ima hit the top while the rest just walk the exit
I know I did a lot but not enough at it
Itchin' just to use the mic, I feel like I'ma drug addict
Success of a 100 happy people equal this 1 sad kid
They tried to draw the line, but f*ck it I'ma run past it
Who can say they hit my line, see how I'm holding up?
I checked in, they move along, so now I really know what's up
If I start to rise alone then they'll get to notice
They told me not to cut em out but now that bridge is smoking 
I dream of the potential of my successes
Then think how I could never make it in another second
They tryna tell me "Z you way too young and reckless"
I had to grow up early, that ain't no fuckin question
I'll buy out the whole block and give my family it's own section
Make our life a movie, and we don't want no extras
The shit I hold up on my shoulders, man it got me sore again
But at least I don't have designer and I cant afford to live
Have thick skin but with light patches like vitiligo
Heard em say "You can't make it" 2nd word must've been a typo
And keep on grinding so I can never be poor again
Pop that champagne with my people till we see floors spin
Overcame the temptation of suicide
So I now I live my life, I'm not worried bout the newest ride
This is all for the ones that's family I don't gotta mention
This is for the woman that's the future mother of my children
It's bout time I spoke my peace, I don't want this stress
So I had to bring it to the basics, get this off my chest
I gotta keep on going, mom I don't wanna rest
I gotta keep on going till I see those commas on the check
I had to do it my way cuz I can not be the rest
Steady pushing till my lungs have no fuckin' breathin' left
Wanna be global out my city cuz I ain't seen it yet
So I had to come about the shit different, Phoenix Effect

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