Deathbed

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Krystal Evette

5:15

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Each person is a stepping stone
Some are rough or make you slip
But in the end it's still a rock
And at your soul they take a chip
I don't like painting people blame
But it sparks comfort in my brain
Your name is sin I scream in vain
But never eases any pain
You did me wrong and wounds remain
Some are scars, some yet to scab
You left your mark, went out the door
Some paper cuts, some vicious stabs
There are some times I crave your touch
I used the past, a jagged crutch
The pain you caused it meant so much
I don't know why it's what I clutch
I let you in, you made a mess
You gripped onto my weaknesses
I fell through every single trap
Still vision every moment back
I cannot look into a mirror
Without feeling the guilt and fear
I had a soul, one I could sell
You took it with you straight to hell
Humans want people not pieces
Once you're so broken your value decreases
Now you're just a pile of pieces
Now no one will want, oh no one will want you
You're gonna be alone on your deathbed
For all of the hell that you drilled in my head
You're gonna be alone on your deathbed
With your heart so hollow, you'll be so lonely
Hate is such a bitter taste
It makes me want to slice my tongue
This world will have you bathe in it
It's imprinted when we are young
Nine months in a sheltered space
You come out and the air is cold
Then raised to turn against yourself
And always do what you are told
When people start to break you down
You say you cannot handle this
They say it's fine and shut your mouth
And tell you that's the way it is
I look around this empty room
And realize what I have done
I pushed the world out of my way
And now I'm staring at the gun
I closed you out, it's all my fault
And all my wounds are filled with salt
I push myself through every trap
Still vision every moment back
I cannot look into my eyes
I still hear my oldest cries
I had a soul, not left to sell
So now I'm going straight to hell
Humans want people not pieces
Once I'm so broken my value decreases
Now I'm just a pile of pieces
Now no one will want, oh no one will want me
I'm gonna be alone on my deathbed
For all the unholiest things that I said
I'm gonna be alone on my deathbed
With my heart so hollow, I'll be so lonely
I'm gonna be alone on my deathbed
I pushed you away and regret what I said
I'm ready to go far away now
The one place you go that you cannot be found
There's only so much hate I can give
I could repeat but that's a shit way to live
I've pushed out the world for the last time
Don't cry when I'm gone 'cuz I'm not worth a dime
I blame not one soul for my trauma
I used it as weight for building my armor
I'm tying my gear to my person
Make sure when I sink that it is for certain
My toes slowly dip in the water
I wonder if i could have been a better daughter
I lay flat to quiet my head
And here I am alone on my deathbed
I am alone
I'm so fucking alone
I did this to myself
I fucking did this to myself
I'm going straight to hell
Alone

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