Love Letter 30 (feat. Imparted)

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Sanyu Estelle

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Dear
I am not the human flavor
I am a sweet heat
But my fire can burn people asunder
They act as if I'm some
Mythical beast
For speaking honestly
And not wanting to die for it
Imagine, being on a planet of liars
Who prefer ignorance
I know, but trust me
It is very much a place
Here
You must remember to love yourself
Against all odds
Against all seeming evidence to the contrary
You must say to yourself
I am worthy
And, that alone must be okay
And, I know
I sound like I'm complaining
Because I am complaining
Don't worry. Here it is strange
But also considered healthy
It is better than dying prematurely or murdering
Trust when I say
There's a lot of that madness to be taken up
But, I'm not much tempted
I know what you'd say
Practical universal truths like
Of course you're worthy. And
Why wouldn't you knowing that be enough?
And it's (That's) a good question
Because, ultimately, it has to be enough for me anyway
But it doesn't feel like much to say in a world
That isn't very effective at listening
I'm not alone in this place
But I am a lone place
Nobody seeks residency in my heart
Who has shown up with the proper listing
I am uninhabited
I haven't even quite taken residence
I am a landlord of my being
Granting access here and there
And paying taxes you wouldn't believe
If I told you
But I'm not explaining taxes to you
They're useless
I would love to be called upon
To be visited by someone invited in
Yet I remain
A fully furnished mansion
With a 1-person residency
Who needs all this space
Capitalism? Don't ask
I'm not explaining that today
What I want to say is
I welcome inhabitance
I want nothing more
Than to be well lived in
To have someone rent my time
Who loves my dimensions of space
I must be patient
But I will not wait
I have other things to do with this being
Grander things than me, I must be honest
For at the end of the day
I'm not even the central focus of my own existence
Wouldn't you know
I came here for other reasons and other people
I am centered in my being
Just not central to my being
It's wild
Not beyond my control
Not within my reach
I am very consciously making it up along the way
(So is everybody)
It wouldn't be fair to say I'm lonely
Amazingly
I'm too entertained
But
A lone building
I remain
Love
Sanyu

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