Day Three Hundred Sixty Seven

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Soundwaves on Sand

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Dancing candle light
Out there summer night
Tears fall from my eyes
While I fantasize
Coma for a while
Cuz I can't say goodbye
Try every SSRI
And wake me when I smile
I count the days
I count the meds
Count self-harm scars
And Prozac ads
What is the prize
Of mental health?
When will I learn
To love myself?
Like therapy
And writing songs
Hate side effects
And breaking down
What is the prize
Of happiness?
When will I say
I'm over this?
My doctor said
It's dangerous
That Im dissociating
Referred me to
The hospital
I hope that that will help me
My teacher said
That I should quit
And try a new beginning
I know they're right
And pray to god
To guide me through this valley
I count the days
I count the meds
Count self-harm scars
And Prozac ads
What is the prize
Of mental health?
When will I learn
To love myself?
Like therapy
And writing songs
Hate side effects
And breaking down
What is the prize
Of happiness?
When will I say
I'm over this?
My grandma says
Because of me
She can't find sleep at night
My friends and
My whole family
Are always by my side
But I lie in bed
I close my eyes
Fight thoughts of suicide
See blood and cuts
Hear silent cries
This nightmare never dies
I count the days
I count the meds
Count self-harm scars
And Prozac ads
What is the prize
Of mental health?
When will I learn
To love myself?
Like therapy
And writing songs
Hate side effects
And breaking down
What is the prize
Of happiness?
When will I say
I'm over this?
No more candle light
Out there winter night
Open tearless eyes
And I realize
Again I'm numb inside
Again I'm paralyzed
A roller coaster ride
When will I be alright?

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