If I'm Being Honest

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Alex Bryant

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If I'm being honest, I think about the belt in my closet way too often
I dream as though the blade of the reaper is hanging over me, if I'm being honest
You didn't ask for all this information
But it's been stuck in my throat for so long
I've made myself sick choking on it
If I'm being honest
If I'm being honest
And I am
And I am
If I'm being honest, I fear sometimes I won't make it to age 45
Sometimes I wonder if I was doomed from the moment I was born, if I'm being honest
I don't expect you to have all the answers
I'm not a broken thing you need to fix
But I'm tired of saying, "it is what it is"
If I'm being honest
If I'm being honest
And I am
And I am
I'm not trying to find a parent, lover or friend to point the finger at
The damage is done and I want to be okay with that
But there's still a little sliver of hurt and rage stuck in my veins
If I'm being honest
And I am
If I'm being honest and I am
And I am
And I am

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