PTSD

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Ethan Charles

3:43

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Suicide is selfish, I'll make a spectacle of mine
There's no more choking on your laughter, though in bedrooms you'll do fine
There's still gold in these veins, though I forget sometimes
We need this shit in our lives
So I'll get naked
So I'm easier to brand
When she wakes up
She'll decide what I am--I'm alive
I've been thinking, which is never a sign
But finally good thoughts: like meals of wheat and wine
I remember long nights dancing tattered ruins of my mind
But I'll wait until the body gets cold
But I'll get naked
So I'm easier to brand
When she wakes up
She'll decide what I am--I'm alive
She says she loves me, but she's not in love
I don't know the difference--maybe it's rooted in our blood
Who takes her home; I'll be the last to know
And keep to measure my life in pills
You'll make new memories
With one divine, I'm sure
But every time your heart beats
That's me tapping at your door--that I'm alive
I'll take a minute to get my head straight
Oh, now that you're wearing other hands around your waist
You don't need me, and I don't hate you
Anymore
So I'll get naked one last time
They'll see me through
When I say that I'm alive
I'm alive, I'm a lie

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