Grey Matter

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Vary Suite

3:40

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I'm restless
I can never stop and just shut up
And I fall behind
Despite my drive, I'm never good enough
(I search for reasons why I'm never good enough)
I searched for reasons
Why I'm a mess, but I just can't
Be honest
A work in progress
Is all I've ever been
And it's like a dream
Where I live out the same day on repeat
(And I don't know if I'm)
Breaking through or breaking down
Or lost my mind
It's hard to tell today
But as it stands the matter's grey
I don't think I'm doing well
I love my life but I hate myself
And I'm afraid that's never gonna change
I'm selfish
I've only ever done just what I want
(What I want)
Without common sense for consequence
While others held me up
And I fought with my flaws
I fell apart and that's hard to admit
I couldn't see the worst of me
That's why I started steadfast but then I quit
The dream
A shadow of who I thought I would be
Breaking through or breaking down
Or lost my mind
It's hard to tell today
But as it stands the matter's grey
I don't think I'm doing well
I love my life but I hate myself
And I'm afraid that's never gonna change
Is it a breakthrough or a breakdown because they both kinda start the same
You get a rush that hits you like a switch just went off inside your brain
And then you're left unsure it starts to blur
As the heart begins to race
I wish that could tell what's happening now
Is it a breakthrough or a breakdown?
Breaking through or breaking down
Or lost my mind
It's hard to tell today
But I don't think it matters
I don't think I'm doing well
I love my life but I hate myself
And I'm afraid that's never gonna change
(Never gonna change)
Breaking through or breaking down
Or lost my mind
It's hard to tell today
As it stands the matter's grey
(As it stands the matter's grey)
I don't think I'm doing well
I love my life but I hate myself
And I'm afraid that's never gonna change

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