Fear

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And now for something completely different

A childish emotion
A hopeless devotion
A calculated tactic meant to manipulate the masses
A childish emotion
A hopeless devotion
A calculated tactic meant to manipulate the masses
A childish emotion
A hopeless devotion
A calculated tactic meant to manipulate the masses
A childish emotion
A hopeless devotion
A calculated tactic meant to manipulate the masses

Stop ignoring me
I can see you've been active
If you don't pick up your phone I'm gonna drive to your house 
And we can do this in person

Woah
What's with this energy
I'm not your enemy
I'm just trying to grow up
And fill my cup
And truly see
I know these fears inside they come out irrationally
But your disregard for me came way too easily
How many weeks gone
I'm still at a loss
I searched a meeting for meaning 
And to give myself a pause
It was Social function where she opened up her spout
But she's okay now, she had her public freak-out
I didn't stand up
I didn't speak out
I didn't talk back
I closed my mouth
I let you walk on me
I let your friends help
But now I'm done
I'm airing it out
With eyes cold as chalk
It's an elementary math
When I have to walk on eggshells
Who's the real sociopath

They got scared over there
Fear
Not us

Fear is the most childish emotion we experience
Because when we're young he uses everything to terrify us
Monsters in our mind from the books we read and movies we watch
Or the pile of clothes in the corner of our rooms that we really need to wash
But those things aren't real, they're not there
So grow up, don't be scared
Of those monsters under your bed
Fear is powerless in maturity
Until he finds the the mindshaft in your head
We all have a mindshaft, we do
A system of unknowns
And he's at the helm
He works the ropes and pulleys 
Cranking away
What if, what if, what if, what if, what if
Down we go

From a young age I knew the nature of Fear
Though I could not put my finger on him I knew he was there
Who are you; you're so weird
I know, I wore a suit to picture day because I thought
Kids dress that way or at least my private school forced me to
I couldn't look another person in the eye since I was before I was two
And what's that about, seriously
A boy so shy
That you will never see him cry
You'll never see him shout
Days on the playground
Making no friends, no doubt
King of the mole hill
Keeping a closed up mouth

Fear followed me home on the six mile ride
And he didn't go away even when I was inside my own room
And my house was a fortress
It was a stone cube dropped into the Wisconsin wilderness
A house 135 years standing 
A beacon for safe landing
How was this bunker not secure

Well as I discovered later in life
The basement where our kittens were born
The basement where our dogs slept
The basement where our kids watched reruns of foster's home for imaginary friends
The basement where I played pretend
Was also where my father went when he wanted to black-out
And in that basement, Fear kept my father company

Dad's been battling him for 14 years now
And because he keeps winning he began to teach me
How to be less afraid
And the screaming matches between siblings became less frequent
And the house did become a sanctuary
By the time I was heading off to college, although I was wary
I knew I was leaving him behind
I knew that I had cleared him from my mind
And that my gentle nature would be what guided me to success

And it did
And I was happy
And it did
And I fell in love
And I did
And we were perfect
And then it didn't
And it was odd
And then it didn't
And it was scary
And then it didn't
And then it didn't
And then it didn't for a year and a half
And I was empty

I thought I'd mastered him
I knew what he is and what he is not
I knew his tactics
I knew his plans
I left him in that basement to rot

But 12 years later I find myself looking down the flaky wooden stairs to the cellar
Standing 500 feet from my door
On the borderline
Unable to tell her
Thinking I needed to do more
Thinking I just need more time

But those eyes had turned cold
And that feeling grew like mold
The undercurrent had took ahold
And after all that time
I could not believe it
I was afraid to go home

Can I open up my mind to you
I've got so much to say
And I don't know how

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