The Idle Owl's 536th Daydream

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The Idle Owl

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Jump into my yacht set off for the open sea
I'm going to ride this old boat straight to Italy
I have a quick think, I don't have a clue how to sail
But now I'm in the ocean, my trip's doomed fail

I throw up a teabag, try and judge the wind
But the sail it rips, oh what trouble I'm in
I throw up my hands and exclaim oh well
I'm a white middle class man, I'll just ride the swell
I've always got a tailwind with this much privilege
I'll just sit on my arse and play some cribbage

Yeah I've been wondering when I'll know
Just what is going on and where the f*ck to go
I hope I wake up and it's all been a dream
Just some inventive nightmare sent by a moonbeam

I'm awoken by a crunch, I've hit a rock
Head on up to the deck in nothing but my socks
I wonder where I've got after months of floating
I'm sure I've gone miles with all this boating

Somehow I'm in the bit of Switzerland near France
I can tell by all the baguettes and Christine and the Queens fans
I say 'hang on a minute I thought Switzerland was landlocked?'
What the f*ck's going on? Has my sanity been docked?

Yeah I've been wondering when I'll know
Just what is going on and where the f*ck to go
I hope I wake up and it's all been a dream
Just some inventive nightmare sent by a moonbeam

I head on down to the bakery and order a croissant
I mean when in Rome or when near Frooonce
I say something offensive, I didn't mean to I'm honest
I was just trying to order some baked goods I promise

But I'm being chased now and I've lost a shoe
I'm running really awkwardly like I need the loo
The baker takes aim hurls a baguette like a javelin
It's pretty clear now I've chosen a poor place to travel in

I fling a Toblerone back, watch it sail through the air
And now he's been stopped with a questionnaire
The baker's down and I'm free again
But there's no way in hell that this is the end

Yeah I've been wondering when I'll know
Just what is going on and where the f*ck to go
I hope I wake up and it's all been a dream
Just some inventive nightmare sent by a moonbeam

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