Hell Since You Left

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MattSoMuch

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All these years you've been gone
Now I'll never know
Is this love? Is this hate? 
Man I'm losing hope
Growing up
No one ever showed me love
I'm just sitting in this empty room
Asking why I'm so alone
People told me that everything will change when I grow up
Now I'm here and I'm hearing people fearing I'll blow up
Sitting at a wishing well hoping that you'll show up
I know that I'll go to hell praying but you know what
I keep asking for you back but you quiet now
Every time I feel sad I remember how
I can't blame nobody else, cause I shut you out
Now all I got is these voices that get so damn loud
Think of the good times we had but they're fading fast
I guess it's true what they say, "good things never last"
I always thought that shit was rumors but I guess it's fact
You were the only thing that kept my demons coming back

Fucked my liver up cause that kept all the pain at bay
I cry at night for you and pray that you'll come back someday
Knowing it's hopeless and you're gone for good I hope it's for the
Best because I need you and it's hard for me to focus aye
I keep saying that it's not for good I just need help
I keep trying but I end up lying to myself
Keep relapsing to relax the fact that all I ever do is
Keep backtracking to retract the past that made this hell
Inside my mind, I find it easy just to be alone
I hate the feeling but it's all I've ever fucking known
I feel so empty and I got no place that I call home
All my fake friends turn my problems to a fucking joke
It's been a long way down this soulless road they calling hope
I keep on thinking "This is it" but worse shit always shows
I keep on dreaming of a way out but it always makes the
Way I live my life feel like a fire that is dying slow
I wonder where you been and what you've done
Since you left home
I sent you letters, made some calls
But you never wrote
I even sold my soul in hopes I wouldn't feel so cold
But time has froze since you went ghost now winters all I know
Somebody told me that one day I won't feel lonely
That one day someone will hold me
Tell me everything is slowly
Getting better but the weather in my head
Feels like there's pleasure in my death
So the letters by my bed
Say it's been hell since you left

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