Christmas With Carol

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Hoyt Van Tanner

4:14

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It was Christmas in Kentucky when my Grand Am broke down
Caught fire and threw a rod through the block
I was miles from nowhere if nowhere was lost
Saw a light in the distance so I went for a walk

Met Carol in the car lot but there were no cars around
I asked for a phone I could use
It was cold as the dickens when she led me inside
And introduced me to the silent night crew

It was a makeshift nativity with full frontal nudity
At the only place open in town
Spent Christmas with Carol and the rest of the gals
At the Expose Cabaret in Monkeys Eyebrow 

Glitter and Garland brought wassail and cake
The not so virgin Mary brought wine
Holly sang "What Child Is This" by the fire
Of flaming shots and cigarette embers all night

Mrs. Clause came a calling around 5am 
She spoke with slurred southern drawl
Said good girls get presents but as for all y'all
Here's gas stations finest five dollar scratch offs

It was a make shift nativity with full frontal nudity
At the only place open in town
Spent Christmas with Carol and the rest of the gals
At the Expose Cabaret in Monkeys Eyebrow

Now it's Christmas in Texas one year down the road
And my wife's throwing seasonal plates
Cause a Christmas card covered in glitter just came
And it's signed with red lipstick in five different shades

It said Fa La La La La La good tidings in the raw
From the only place open in town
Merry Christmas from Carol and the rest of the gals
At the Expose Cabaret in Monkeys Eyebrow

Fa La La La La La good tidings to you all
From the only place open in town
Merry Christmas from Carol and the rest of the gals
At the Expose Cabaret in Monkeys Eyebrow

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