Coping Mechanisms

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Well take a deep breath
I can't correct
I think too fast 
My thoughts infect
And yet it seems I'm disconnected
Blank out fast when too selective
(Yeah)
Now what was I doing?
I'm drugged up? passed out? straight up loosing
Cruising down my sofa all withdrawn but still I'm using coping mechanisms

It isn't healthy but I'm trying
Watching television
I cannot move but this fine
I've got my tunnel vision
On things I like because they are my coping mechanisms
My coping mechanisms yeah

Now I can't remember what day it is
Think back but can't 
All thoughts ahead
I'm getting tired
Got no desire 
Can't get inspired
I'm halfway dead

And still I'm loosing
I'm in the backseat cruising
No control whilst driving 
Swerving into walls
I'm bruising

When I'm moving, moving
I'm only loosing, loosing
Because I'm using, using excuses
But they are valid 

I'm snoozing 
All chances 
Pass like movement
Can't grip 
I feel excluded
Why would you do this?

Yeah
You don't understand 
You don't know what I'm loosing
Pain is what you give me
But it's faith that I am loosing

Yeah
You don't understand 
You don't know what I'm loosing
Pain is what you give me
But it's faith that I am loosing

Yeah
You cannot comprehend
My pain's intense
It doesn't end
On faith I barely could depend
You let me down
You were condemned

I knew you best and still remained
You hurt me without any shame
And used me for your selfish gain
You did this to me

You know I'm trying but I'm pushing it way too hard
You saw me trying, keep relying it's who you are
I'm always trying but I never could get that far
Cause it's you, you're dead weight and useless

I'll cut you off 
Feel the tension slip from my back cause I put in all this effort
And never got any back
I'm just saying that you're mistaking my loyalty for my love 
You'd complain about perfection 
It's never been good enough

Give me money and give me drugs
Numb enough to not feel the buzz
Tried to tell you you're not the one 
Push in place I don't fit into your expectations
You seem so sad in your observation
When I speak it's one conversation
About how I can't change

Yeah I stay the same
Same morals 
State all these different names
Don't speak for how you think I say
You say you know me? You just know how you show me

Flaunt me
Don't say you want me
Degrade and leave me wanting someone better than you'll ever be

Yeah
You don't understand 
You don't know what I'm loosing
Pain is what you give me
But it's faith that I am loosing

Yeah
You don't understand 
You don't know what I'm loosing
Pain is what you give me
But it's faith that I am loosing

Yeah
You cannot comprehend
My pain's intense
It doesn't end
On faith I barely could depend
You let me down
You were condemned

I knew you best and still remained
You hurt me without any shame
And used me for your selfish gain
You did this to me

You know I'm trying but I'm pushing it way too hard
You saw me trying, keep relying it's who you are
I'm always trying but I never could get that far
Cause it's you, you're dead weight and useless

I'll cut you off 
Feel the tension slip from my back cause I put in all this effort
And never got any back
I'm just saying that you're mistaking my loyalty for my love 
You'd complain about perfection 
It's never been good enough

Now stop that movement hit this groove and let me do this 
Stop complaining
Exaggerating about my small improvements

Can you endure this?
Or best ensure it?
I'm not a partner just a clueless
Mislead recruitment
But no inducement

I'm just amusement
Pursued to use me, twist abuse me
Then reduce me
Shame me with guilt 
To keep me from moving

So codependent
On things you gave me or took away
You say you save me
But truth you left me empty using all my coping mechanisms

It isn't healthy but I'm trying
Watching television
I cannot move but this fine
I've got my tunnel vision
On things I like because they are my coping mechanisms
My coping mechanisms yeah

I'll cut you off 
Feel the tension slip from my back cause I put in all this effort
And never got any back
I'm just saying that you're mistaking my loyalty for my love 
You'd complain about perfection 
It's never been good enough

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