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Not Just J

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Wait a minute, please can you hold this 
That's every bit of baggage that I dragged from 06 
I'm tryna rummage round and find some excuses 
Why I can't do this 
Stupid 
Clueless 
Foolish 
Useless 
Always so blueish 
Anger and mood swings 
Resolve to remove things 
Control like a new king 
Then flick a switch and he goes anubis 
F*ck it i'll prove pricks wrong 

Give me my baggage back 
It's mine to carry my demons in there and will attack  
And they're like gremlins unless I feed 'em the double jack 
I try and kill them but they need more than the double tap 
I can't unattach 
Unless Im numbing that 
Some days I'm running laps 
Some days I'm fully mashed 
Some days I do the most
So you can do the math
Cuz everyday I wake up feeling like different version of myself and that's a fact 

Just another day of reckoning
Death feels prevalent 
Stopwatch ticking 
Rather me then my next of kin
I could try fight swipe right no messaging
Try and match my fist to his face 
I need a weapon quick 

8 seconds left to life as
7 beads of sweat they drip in 
6 feet to the left of him tried 
5 attempts of wrestling 
4 control as the nestling within 
Shows 
3 voices in sync 
2 choices do I swim or sink 
Let it begin 
1 

So it's stakes raised like buffy 
Cuz I hear that money can take away ugly 
There's too much of me that highly disgusts me
Diluted I'm quiet and usually clumsy
Disputed I'm violent amused by the fuckery 
Only time I feel the serotonin in the skull be 
When I'm half baked coked up singing Bon Jovi
Got a grey robe on call me Stoney One Kenobi cuz

I'm feeling the force 
Of the assortment of thoughts 
That metamorph 
When I hit the 
Medicines in my drawer
I guess the cause is depression
Why I question it all
Though I deplore to see aggression it's the weapon I forge

Harrows bullets in the chamber 
Aiming at my baggage
Run it through my past all the worlds I couldn't manage
They took the piss now I'm lost my only focus is havoc
One last attempt to try and get our name established

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