I'll Be Happy When...

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Jeph.Ilosopher

5:13

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This is my life
I won't let no one live this for me
What are highlights
I don't live only for the glory
Once upon a time
It was just sadness running my
Show, but i'll show you what's inside
That cocoon right before I was a butterfly
What a night
Another cold one wondering what am i
Something's getting under my
Skin... it's so easy to be undermined... when
I don't have anything vibrant, like violet
Really what's the point in trying when you're so colorblind
I'm so done, might as well shut my eyes  
This that part where I am supposed to dream
But it's too hard like something's holding me
Way too far back like the oldest scene
Can't jump in that broken time machine
Wake up
Good morning
Just kidding man it's all still boring
When it rains, i aint happy that it changed
It just makes things worse, when it rains it's pouring  
I don't like the fact that I'm so forced in
My thoughts taking up big portions
Of my space or the lack thereof 
Lost cause if you trying to find where's love 
Don't remember what breathing in fresh air was
I'm just crushed, this is frustrating
It's too much, too overwhelmed, I can't trust patience
I need it now, i'd throw in the towel if I could just make it
Feels like I'm waiting for happiness trapped in a decommissioned Bus station

Happy
Why can't I feel happy
I wanna be happy
Tell me why it's so hard to be happy
I don't know why

I found myself a pick me up
It was all good for a moment now I'm staring at an empty cup
I'll tell you what, maybe you can tell me what
The hell I'm supposed to do now, I'm low like arctic Celsius
Cold and alone, you're sunshine only melts the mush
You think it's beautiful, I think you're full of what could flush
Foolish to trust another view, that's usually bluff
Who'd you say you were anyway-my future-what
But if I listen I could hear it singing
It isn't over this is just beginning
You won't know gratitude until you know how deep of a hole you've been in
You will start living, once you're practicing a new attitude
Your quest starts when you stop questioning

Happy
Why can't I feel happy
I wanna be happy
Tell me why it's so hard to be happy
I don't know why
You feel it in your soul
But don't know where to go
You feel it in your heart
But don't know where to start
Well let me help you out
Because I know what it's about
You gotta let it out
It's so corny, but i gotta disarm me
Because i'm my own worst enemy, a one man army
I'd break myself down harder than any exterior threat
Imagine if I could reverse this, are you curious yet  
I start with a laugh... and I'm serious, yes
I mean sincerely not adhering to all seriousness 
Now bring that humor to another and your healing begets
Being of service with your talents where that feeling could stretch

Happy... I'm feeling so happy
I'm finally happy
This is what it feels like to be happy
And I know why

Just because I'm now a butterfly
Who told you I was gonna fly
Who told you everything's working
Who told you that my wing's even working right
Still learning to earn my stripes
Still searching to cure my gripes 
Yall know I aint perfect, right?
I got baggage to return like merchandise 
Habits in my head that curse my life
Patterns in my mind obscure my sight
I swing, I miss, it hurts alright
But still I know it's worth the fight
And now I know I'm not the only one
Trying to hold on when the moment's done
I don't think happiness is all or none
Even the scraps of it are gold as sun

Happy... I'm feeling so happy
I'm finally happy
This is what it feels like to be happy
And I know why

This is a quote from Abdu'l-Baha
Anybody can be happy in the state of comfort, ease, health success, pleasure and joy But if one can be happy and contented 
In the time of trouble, hardship, and prevailing disease, it is the proof of nobility

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