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Call Me Carlitos

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Ladies and gentlemen, we have a special guest In for you today
This is someone who is literally changing the face of couples therapy with his remarkable new service
The phone lines are open now of you have any question
Uh, so why don't you tell us a little bit about your service huh
Well
These ladies love Carlitos
I got an LLC
Even a 1800 number you can call toll free
If ya mans acting up
Then you just call on me
And I'll send you a carbon copy he look just like me
He always mad
He's losing focus
Ain't got no bag
And he don't post us 
I under stand ma'am
I'm glad you called us 
We'll be your batman
Don't f*ck with jokers
Ok, so the goal is, to put him on the spot
So he can open up his eyes and recognize the queen he's got
I know you love him that's your man
But it's time he understands
If you neglect a piece of land
Another man will tend that crop
Now we got
A couple packages I think that you might like
We got the gold, we got the bronze
The get this nigga out my life
I would advice against the latter though
Unless your moving lateral
And well If that's the case then that's okay
You're not compatible
Ma'am, were prepared to send someone that looks like me
To your house, like right now
Please just hold if your agree
So if your man is on some basic shit 
And you're just sick of taking it 
You can call Carlitos, here to shake up your relationship
These ladies love Carlitos
I got an LLC
Even a 1800 number you can call toll free
If ya mans acting up
Then you just call on me
And I'll send you a carbon copy he look just like me
We got chocolate, we got flowers 
We can cuddle up for hours 
Even let you wear our glasses while we're watching Austin powers
Here today but gone tomorrow
Don't go thinking to much
I betchu you don't cross his mind when hes out drinking to much
He be double cupping his cup
While you steady humble as f*ck
Make em jelly show him wassup
When you ready call us, cause we broke the Levee
We coming heavy with that TLC
If you call now, we'll throw the D in for a nominal fee
For just a couple easy payments of your love and your time
Trust me and mine, will having you feeling like a buck and a dime
And if we find, that when he's chilling with his thugs and his slimes
That he be lying
We gon' beat that ass for free 99
Listen ma'am
Were prepared to send someone that looks like me
To your house, like right now
Please just hold if your agree
And if your man is on some basic shit
And you're just sick of taking it
You just call Carlitos, here to shake up your relationship
These ladies love Carlitos
I got an LLC
Even a 1800 number you can call toll free
If ya mans acting up
Then you just call on me
And I'll send you a carbon copy he look just like me
These ladies love Carlitos
I got an LLC
Even a 1800 number you can call toll free
If ya mans acting up
Then you just call on me
And I'll send you a carbon copy f*ck it, its just me

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