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August Mallèt

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Uh
I've got no ability to love 
I'm toxic from deep inside 
People always break me 
Whenever I show them love
It's a battle of prides
Closure has got a price
Now when I'm happy 
It's either pretending 'cause I'm not

Shut my heart 
And put a yellow tape around it
It's off limits for every person
That claims they love me 
I can't afford to fall for words
Be practical about it
I have internal wounds 
That are like my wrist
The pain is timeless 

I never thought I'd neglect 
A person that really loves me
Never thought I would love 
A person that doesn't love me
While I'm still alive and kicking 
I am feeling lifeless
'Cause that's what happens when they take
Advantage of your kindness 

Sometimes I feel suicidal 
Till I think 'bout my Momma
We've came a long way together
Can't imitate my father
He left you 
When you needed him the most 
I never will
'Cause if I'd take my life 
Then who's gonna 
Take care of Momma

Life ain't fairytales 
Life ain't very fair
Life will take you places
Tour in hell so stay prepared 
I'm only 18
Cried an ocean of tears
There's nothing I know better than
Betrayal 
Poverty and pain 

Ask me to name a friend 
I'd say my book and pen
No one is ever loyal 
Till the very end
But who said it ain't normal 
If you ain't got no friends 
In a person
You should never engrave your happiness 

Love any person without expectations 
This goes for every person
Including your family 
Blood is thicker than water
Till you have dropped your standards
Back at home they think comparison 
Is a form of motivation 

Love is what they said they have for me 
But fail to show it
Instead they did the worst
They always left me broken

How do you hold me accountable
For not loving you
Trusting you
You were never there 
When days were dark and lonely 
Tried to be consistent 
And not disappoint 
Seems like I'm trying too hard 
To not be below
 
At a very young age
Too much weight on my shoulders 
I feel unprotected 
Mentally I got no choices

They called me weak and useless 
Never noticed my worth
I've always tried to blend in 
With some mental bruises mate
Never confided my feelings 'Cause I was too afraid
That I would be 
That weak person who never
Stood himself 

All those sleepless nights
Heart is aching hard
Tears are falling down
No one heard my cry

I'm broken 
Hopeless
Torn within
I was treated like dirt 
But I still stood 
And faked a smile

For all the people that I've met
They've met a different me
'Cause I'm a person 
With a million personalities
It's even harder to swallow 
No one believes in me
I plead guilty 
My life is a crazy predicament 

I'm gonna fly away
It's a brand new day
Good things are coming my way
(Oh oh ohh)
(Oh oh ohh ooh)
I'm gonna fly away
Oh ohh oh ohh
Oh ohh

And I'm only 18

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