What I Became

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No Longer Human

No Longer Human (人間失格, Ningen Shikkaku) is a 1948 Japanese novel by Osamu Dazai. It is considered Dazai's masterpiece and ranks as the second-best selling novel ever in Japan, behind Natsume Sōseki's Kokoro. The literal translation of the title, discussed by Donald Keene in his preface to the English translation, is "Disqualified From Being Human". The novel, narrated in first person, contains several elements which portray an autobiographical basis. The novel presents recurring themes in the author's life, including suicide, social alienation, and depression. Many believe the book to have been his will, as Dazai took his own life shortly after the last part of the book (which had appeared in serial form) was published. As of January 1, 2019, the book is in t… more »

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Uh day to day
Is where I run away from feelings
Tryna stay away
It feels like there's a demon that's inside me I don't want to wake
That's why I stay away from people just so I be sane, what I became
I don't show it in my face
When I go down in flames
I chain smoke a few cigarettes and smoke it like a train
Puff it till the feeling doesn't come up to my head
I feel a little dizzy but the pain has gone away
I'm not the same, not the person you know 3-4 years ago
I'm not the same, devil's cluttered my head making my heart cold
What a shame, I closed my heart so I survive, the dreadful and the lonely nights
Where demons start to come alive, and haunt you so you
Run for your life, cause you're the only one who
Understands, cause no one really does, so you
Nodded yes, when people started asking just to
Play pretend, you're not the one to express all your
Thoughts and all your distress, sit there thinking bout your regrets
People fill you with their two cents, just so can you start to impress uh
You barely have the time to even focus on yourself
You're busy reaching expectations you don't set
People take advantage of me just cause I adapt
I've been used so many times that I don't even know myself
Don't try so hard to see the best in me I'm worthless
I'm a goner you can't save me there's no purpose
I got the thoughts and I'm lost in my head
Always self-doubting they wanted me dead
Internal scars, they don't show you that I've fought, they don't show where it begins
People be thinking that I'm doing fine
But they can't seem to gaze what I've been through within
They only cared about them so they don't give a f*ck about me
Why I've thicken my skin
Uh day to day
Is where I run away from feelings
Tryna stay away
It feels like there's a demon that's inside me I don't want to wake
That's why I stay away from people just so I be sane, what I became
I don't show it in my face
When I go down in flames
I chainsmoke a few cigarettes and smoke it like a train
Puff it till the feeling doesn't come up to my head
I feel a little dizzy but the pain has gone away
Day to day
Is where I run away from feelings
Tryna stay away
It feels like there's a demon that's inside me I don't want to wake
That's why I stay away from people just so I be sane, what I became

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