Hufflepuffs Make Better Lovers

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Kathryn Hoss

3:14

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Ravenclaw found intelligence most difficult to resist
Gryffindor cared less for brains and more for balls
Slytherin was a blood purity fetishist
And Helga Hufflepuff, she took them all

Ohhhhhhhhh
Hufflepuffs make better lovers
We are loyal to our partners through and through
Agreeable to change, accommodating to the strange
So giving and so easily amused

Once I loved a Gryffindor and they were mighty bold
And seemed so self-assured but had a sadness in their soul
They waved at me while they were high from sniffin' potion fumes
They forgot they were flyin' and they fell right off their broom

Oh
Hufflepuffs make better lovers
We never take unnecessary risks
And sure we like our herbologic remedies
But we take precaution when we get our kicks

Once I loved a Slytherin but she was mighty cold
And oh-so-moralistic, reputation to uphold
When she realized I jeopardized her rigid family life
She left me to live boringly in the pureblood wizard right

Oh
Hufflepuffs make better lovers
We won't judge you by your rank or wealth
We're stickin' with no matter if the others don't approve
So just sit back, relax, because we've got nothing to prove

Once I loved a Ravenclaw and swore she felt the same
But wasn't wise enough to navigate her mind game's maze
We flirted and we skirted round, but it became too late
It turned out I was learning at a much much slower rate

Oh
Hufflepuffs make better lovers
We don't give a damn how you did on your N.E.W.T.s
There are bigger things that matter in the grand old greater scheme
Like friendship and acceptance and the happiness it brings

One day I'll meet a Hufflepuff who's just as sweet as me
She'll make me pumpkin pasties while I pour her earl gray tea
I've had my fun and now I'm done with witches who just take
I'll find my better finder, and I hope that she can bake

Oh
Hufflepuffs make better lovers
And we don't care if you slowly get fat
We live next to the kitchens, so best loosen up your britches
Or take them off if you are into that

Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh
Hufflepuffs make better lovers
We are loyal to our partners through and through
Agreeable to change, accommodating to the strange
So giving and so easily amused

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