Doorman

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Kat McLevey

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I am not high upon your list
Of things that you are patient with
I am written down below
The inlaws and the pets
Our conversations don't exist
And it's all my fault you insist
'Cause all you've been is good to me 
But I'm the one who quit

You know how I get so upset
When your voice is firm as it can get
Still you rattle onward 
As if I'm deaf to every word
I bet you'd like to turn me 'round
And smack my backside 'til it burns
Then you could assert yourself 
As keeper of the keys

What is it that's holding me back
From walking with my chin up past the doorman
What is it that's keeping me here
What is it that's keeping me near you

What is it that you said to me
I've got selfish generosity
That all I've ever done for you 
Was just for my own gain
And that if you were to die today
I'd jump right back into play
Without as much as a second's thought
No grief or remorse 

What is it that's holding me back
From walking with my chin up past the doorman
What is it that's keeping me here
What is it that's keeping me near you

I never understood the fact
That you loved me with these strings attached 
And now I'm having nightmares
As I turn the other cheek

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