Entry 1

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Sihle.

3:44

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I really should've stayed
I really should've stayed with you
I really should've stayed

I really should've stayed with you
Through all the things you going through
You told me all you had was you

I really should've stayed w you 
Cos all I ever had was you 
Wishing things were different oouu

I really should've stayed 
I really should've stayed 
I really should've stayed w you  

I wonder how you doing 
I wonder if worked through the shit that you were going through and 
I wonder if you're doing well in the degree you were doing 
I wonder if there's a new man in your life that you're screwing 
I'd that hate though 
If I can be frank 
To know that someone else is pulling down your panties and 
Doing better at all the things I was lacking at 
That ass in those Joni jeans , someone is grabbing that 
I'm hating that 
It took me so long 
To realise and then accept all my flaws and my wrongs 
I had to put in song 
We haven't spoke in so long
And the platforms we used communicate on are now gone 
F*ck
I know I messed up 
I should've been there when you needed someone to hold your head up 
Except I'm selfish as f*ck 
I thought of me and not you 
And that last FaceTime we had when you were saying we through 
I mean saw all those tears 
Saw them perfectly clear 
But somehow I decided to look past all of you fears
You didn't trust me no more
You couldn't hug me no more 
And justifiably you also couldn't even love me no more 
Looking back now , man I'm not surprised 
I always tried to make you fill shoes that were not your size 
Pardon my slight demise
I swear that I'm not that guy 
Well at least not anymore 
I swear that I'm not that guy 

My heart is full it
Hate and the pain and you in it 
You still on my brain I'm doing it 
Thinking about you and all we did 
Like rolling some weed and smoking it 
Daniel Caesar in the background 
Total strangers who we are now 
Your family probably hates me now 
Including you baby oh well
Including you baby oh well 
Leaving you was never easy 
I'm still hurting man believe me 
I hurt my own like treason 
So I understood your reason 
Still understand your reason 
Still understand your reason

My heart is full it
Hate and the pain and you in it 
You still on my brain I'm doing it 
Thinking about you and all we did 
Like rolling some weed and smoking it 
Daniel Caesar in the background 
Total strangers who we are now 
Your family probably hates me now 
Including you baby oh well
Including you baby oh well 
Leaving you was never easy 
I'm still hurting man believe me 
I hurt my own like treason 
So I understood your reason 
Still understand your reason 
Still understand your reason

I'm packing my bags and I'm leaving 
I'm packing my bags and I'm leaving 
Changing cities like the seasons 
Changing cities like the seasons 
Changing cities like the seasons 

I'm packing my bags and I'm leaving 
I'm packing my bags and I'm leaving 
Changing cities like the seasons 
Changing cities like the seasons 
Changing cities like the seasons 

I need you to understand my perspective 
When you loved with all your heart , it's even harder to forget it 
Numbed the pain with all the drugs 
I did them all like Simon said it
Wasn't an addict , I was close to it and that's why I regret it
That was around the same time 
I almost lost my mind 
In and out of the hospital, I was depressed like all the time 
And honestly, if I cannot tell a lie 
You were part of the reason I tried to kill myself 4 times

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