The Not-Very-Scary Song

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Phineas Q. Picklefeather

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I was lost inside the forest
The sky was getting dark
I couldn't find the trail that led to where my car was parked
I found an old abandoned house
An evil-looking shack
With dead trees in the front yard and a graveyard in the back

A wolf howled in the distance
So with nowhere else to hide
I opened up the creaking door and, trembling, went inside
I had a tiny flashlight that cast shadows before my eyes
I knew this house was haunted
But I was in for a surprise

There were no ghosts
There were no goblins
I went to sleep
I had no problems
(Except I SLEPT WRONG AND GOT A CRICK IN MY NECK!)

I thought I heard a sound in the middle of the night
I got up and looked around
Prepared to die of fright
I found a dusty book on a delapidated shelf
Had it been written by a witch
Or some malicious elf?
It must contain black magic
And I felt compelled to look
So with shaking hands I reached out
And I opened up the book

There were no spells
No incantations
It was a photo album of someone's summer vacations
(But in some of the pictures... IT WAS RAINING!)

In the morning I awoke
Just before the dawn
I made my exit through the front door
I needed to be gone
A morning mist was covering the headstones and the ground
And I imagined that the undead must be walking all around

There were no zombies
There were no witches
No Frankenstein all full of stitches
I made it home without any hitches
And that's the end

(...OR IS IT?)

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