Deterioration

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After Smoke Clears

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Two thousand one hundred and ninety days
Since you left the body
Flown high through the sky
Journeyed to an astral plane
Another dimension far away

Eleven years of suffering ended
It's hard to comprehend the weight 
Lifted from these tired shoulders

I feel freedom and grief
You are gone

A prisoner in my own home    
I'm locked up in this cage surrounded with people
And all alone
Must hide the rage
There is nowhere to go

Perpetual supervision
A constant state of inhibition
Family in derision
I'm alone
Home turned into a domestic prison

Confusion and delusion now your default mode
Knocking on the door of your mind but there is nobody home
Every day I try to make a heaven right out of hell
But I'm suffocating and locked up in a cell

Misdiagnosis on two occasions    
Deteriorating body and mind
Personality slipped away
Left to decay
All I can do is prey

Make this stop
It's a nightmare
It's a living hell 
Will someone care?
In the pit of despair light I can't see
From eternal struggle set me free

Body decomposed
Spirit still lives on 
Figure of vigour
Eternally strong 
You took the lessons learned 
Returned into earth 
Endless lifecycle
Of life death and rebirth 

Grief has passed, now I see clearly
I can feel your legacy inside me

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