Purell

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Ben Willms

3:52

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I think that it's safe to say
That the world is screwed
I don't mean to be rude 
But dude, have you had a look
Outside in the last two weeks
'Cause I'm looking out now
On the empty streets
As we speak
And it's lookin' pretty bleak
If I do say so myself
There's shelves and shelves
Of TP and Purell 
I'm sayin' Satan's saving spots in Hell
For those to buy just to resell it
And scalp it
"They can't help it
Anybody would 
If they saw they could make a good
Buck"  
And to that, I gotta say
That your life must suck
If you really that kind of a schmuck 
What the actual heck
What's next?
I see couples datin', neckin'
In the hallways
And I'm hatin' always
How they're self-obsessed
Is "malfeasance" as a word too strong?
Don't get me wrong
I'm no prude about PDAs
But you got your hands
On her waist and her face
Gotta ask you please behave
Just tell me what happened 
To standing a meter away
I know those same hands
Will be in the buffet
For which I will also 
be grabbing a tray
So show me some courtesy, eh
I get that you really want her to see, ay 
That you love her, it's not purposely, ay
But is it the time for this fervency? Nay
Mouth to mouth, save it giving first aid

Dude named Roscoe
In the Costco
Lookin lost, so
Lost, why they all outta stock tho
And he's not even panickin'
Like a boss, no 
Goin past many mannequins showin' off clothes
Keepin' his head 
Only came in to shop yo
Like he does every week
Pullin' to a stop yo
Household aisle 
And he freaks
'Cause the TP rolls are freakin' gone
Oh no no, no no
I'm asking why, oh why
Are they takin' TP
Like I get it
It's a pandemic
But excrement is
Not gonna come more frequently
Not to make any mention
Of the fresh veggies 
Being bought in bulk now
But thrown in the green bin  
Unwanted, unused, unclean in
Circa two more painful weeks

Now Roscoe
Main man Ross
Ain't got no
TP for his family
His wife did tell him "Get Purell"
And he ain't got that neither
Just 'cause some old geezers
Filled their SUVs
With crap they didn't need
What if you were to see
That Roscoe also works
As an MD
In the hospital
Down the street
So for Ross, it'll
Likely be
Him contracting
The virus next
And passing it to seniors
Like his patients
Or his mother Edna
With dementia
Who he sees
On Sunday eves
In her home with
The three nice PSWs, see
No, don't wanna trouble you G 
But just stay in your bubble for me
Don't be outside, huddled in streets
Drinking vodka through a green funnel, I plead
I must say I'm befuddled by Queens
I get St. Paddy's Day is a big thing
But to take all caution and give it a fling
To the side is all is simply 
Reckless, careless 
Feckless, there's this decency 
That we gotta uphold right now
And I know that I'm soundin' so old right now 
But I don't give a dang if you scold me now
I don't care if you don't care 
If you're dead
Just try to think of others instead
And I get that the world is runnin' with dread
But we'll just stay cool, don't play fools
We gotta use our heads

My main girl Kim and I
In the studio
Shooting video for school
Her friends called on a whim
And I couldn't quite help
So I just listened in
And one of her friends
Had the flu
And the conversation
Was racin'
They knew
Their school project
Was all cavin' in
Lookin grim
And Kim came back
Full of questions 
And then
Taught me how to say
"F Corona" In Korean

Although Kim is Cree, not Korean
Her E-friends
Are teachin'
Her On VR Chat
Which is neat
And then after that
We wrapped the shoot
For the day
And our program director, Matt
Announced that the campus
Was closing
Exposing the seriousness of the situation
And it's not just us
The whole world's shuttin' down
Why do peeps keep callin
This virus Asian
Encouraging abrasion
And racializing
A bacterial invasion
I'm just sayin'

It's global  
It's mobile
So try to be noble
Don't beat down
In the streets now
I could sit and I could
And weep now
'Bout how my last-chance
Film with Kim's
Obsolete now
But I won't 'cause
I know the death count
Everybody has it worse
Than me
I'm glad great folks
In other countries
Are working long shifts
For the sick's wellbeing
And I'm glad that my
Wonderful friend Hailey
Caught a flight home
To Toronto safely 
That the girl I took quite long ago
To the prom is no
Longer in Italy
And to those helping Verona
To battle Corona
I gotta respect 'em
I'm sorry my tone
Is a little bit gruff
But I've just had enough
Of the people
Refusing to open their
Eyelids and see

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