Lonely Wolves

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Oh Broken Son!

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Faraway in that disarray of white mountains 
Where daylight scatters the night for a brief bright 
Before that darkness drops onto the smokestacks and choking rivers
Where the kettle whistles warm and that outdoor white warns of another hidden night

Beware of those beautiful men becoming wolves

My God
I'm standing before a land looming on bright blankets 
Beneath a black all-consuming
Moon sick in the sky
Listening to the wail of winter winds as they hunt across unknowable 
Sweeps of hidden horrors
And I've been praying I'm not the prey
But I've spent three years running
Stumbling from something stirring the nothing in my stomach
That emptiness sprawling
Sending me crawling through the curving wreckage
I did not yet understand was wrought by my own wickedness
And from the depth of that darkness I reached for rescue
But my cries were spurned as the congregation turned 
And burned their hands with prayers I could not wait for the answer to
All that spinning
Sinking into the shadows of my disbelieving soul 
Before disappearing into a shivered pain sharp enough to shape me into a savage
Feral and foul and roused by my own howls into selfishly 
Searching for myself at the expense of everyone else

Behold
Your wolf

I'll steal down the mountain
I'll ghost amongst the trees
I'll howl for your affection
I'll kiss then beg please

Beware of those beautiful men becoming wolves
They'll bloom from the darkness with coats of wool
And you'll ache for their bite but write when they pull

Reverberating
That rebellion still resonating over every time and space I shift into
Because I can still hear those red screams scripted across that blood-soaked coat
White and warm and if you're wondering
I was withdrawn into the waxed blackness
Beaten
Breathing stories that didn't belong to me
When I was mistaken as a sheep lost in shadows
Torn and tangled amidst lonely throes
Hurting
Helplessly stirring inside a sadness perceivable 
Only by those who recognized it in their own reflection
She sought comfort in that shared sorrow 
While I weaponized words into worthless whispers like

We are lonely together

Forever intending to spend time contending
Against those self-proclaimed promises of eternal affection
It felt insurmountable
That collection of contracted infections all caused by my own deflection
And for what
So I could tear the entire world apart searching for something houses inside my heart
Inside the pump and beat of my brokenness even before it broke
And beyond the next break too
Because son
I love you at your darkest and beyond your deepest
Most dominate definition of the word
Now sway into this infinite splendor
Into the swing and shock of salvation
Let this song serenade you into a violent surrender where I promise 
To always strike the snake to save you
But my boy
That bite will sting
So come now wolf in all your writhes
Wounded and weary
And let me be the heat that fills your hollow-heart

Shield me from that lonely sorrow
Steal me from the grips of pride
Speak me from that silent tomorrow
Save me from the wolf inside

Beware of those beautiful men becoming wolves
They'll bloom from the darkness with coats of wool
And you'll ache for their bite but writhe when they pull

They'll steal down the mountain
They'll ghost amongst the trees
They'll howl for your affection
They'll kiss then beg please

Beware
Beware
Beware of those beautiful men becoming wolves

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