Am I Diseased??

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Edward Floyd

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I wish these fucking thoughts would just go away
I'm sick of fucking feeling so far away
I can't help but think that I'm the one to blame 
For this pain, why do I love my misery?
I wish these fucking thoughts would just go away
I'm sick of fucking feeling so far away
I can't help but think that I'm the one to blame 
For this pain, why do I love my misery?

I'm losing all motivation
It feels like my soul is vacant
I can feel myself slipping away
But yet, I feel so damn complacent 
Where the f*ck did I go wrong?
All I do is try to work hard
But the harder I try the more this life
Just fucking fucks me raw
And I'm so fucking tired 
Of the way my mind is wired
I just want to feel I'm normal 
Without wanting to get higher  
Am I preaching to the choir?
The voice in my heads a liar
I'm not alright, I'm not normal
I'm fucked up and so tired. 

Am I diseased?
All this pain I've bottled up inside of me
Sometimes I feel like there's a different side of me
That I hide purposely so you can't see
That I'm diseased.   
 
I wish these fucking thoughts would just go away
I'm sick of fucking feeling so far away
I can't help but think that I'm the one to blame 
For this pain, why do I love my misery?
I wish these fucking thoughts would just go away
I'm sick of fucking feeling so far away
I can't help but think that I'm the one to blame 
For this pain, why do I love my misery?

All this stress is building
I can't help but feeling
Like I'm falling apart, with an empty heart  
I feel like giving up
To this fucking anxiety that completely
Takes over me
It's finally outweighed my strength and will
Numbing entirely. 
I'm so fucking close
To breaking down hanging from 
The edge of insanity 
I'm so fucking close
To letting depression consume
And take over me
I'm so fucking close

Slipping on a tight rope
Of my twisted reality 
I'm so fucking close
To giving up everything. 

Am I diseased?
All this pain I've bottled up inside of me
Sometimes I feel like there's a different side of me
That I hide purposely so you can't see
That I'm diseased.   
 
I wish these fucking thoughts would just go away
I'm sick of fucking feeling so far away
I can't help but think that I'm the one to blame 
For this pain, why do I love my misery?
I wish these fucking thoughts would just go away
I'm sick of fucking feeling so far away
I can't help but think that I'm the one to blame 
For this pain, why do I love my misery?

Am I diseased?
All this pain I've bottled up inside of me
Sometimes I feel like there's a different side of me
That I hide purposely so you can't see
That I'm diseased. Am I diseased?
All this pain I've bottled up inside of me
Sometimes I feel like there's a different side of me
That I hide purposely so you can't see
That I'm diseased.

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