Growth

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Faves and Aliza

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See I tried to find a harmony that you haven't yet seen
Life has been quite cold to me but my heart still carries dreams
People tell me this is all it'll be the streets the only home to me
I'm so tired of this misery wanna mend my broken community 

Is it depression or oppression
For the way that I was raised?
I think about that with everyday that I age
While trying to put myself into my mother's place
So i tell her i love her and accept her mistakes
I know that she's tried and i dont blame her in anyway
I mean I've played a part in creating my own pain
So this trauma still remains because the cycle hit replay
I'm struggling through the day tryna find a better place
So i changed my name packed my bags and moved away
It was the only choice i had if i wanted the pain to fade
So writing became the placed to pour my emotions on a page
It was something that could change my perspective of those days
So I learned to embrace and use my words in different ways
Which was my only escape since alcohol couldn't change
And it would only fade the things i was scared to say
So now I'll dropped the hate and stop the trauma here today
So this is for my growth and development for better days
I just want to be known as the person who's been saved
And the guy who's seen the sunshine even when it would only rain
Which is my way of saying that i never lost faith in the person i could be 
And if you didn't believe ill make you see the changes came naturally
Because I was tired of who you seen when you were staring at me
And they say that there is a cost to pursue the life you want so i focused and gave my all
Even after I would fall into my deepest darkest days with depression away the impact that I could make
So I said I need a break and stepped back to evaluate
If there was something i could change to replace a lot of the hate
It would save me time in the energy i seem to waste like i know that I'm not okay
And perfections not my way but I'm learning to be brave and confident that life will change
Focused on what to say so that these youth can feel the same
 
Grandfather came with nothing, worked so hard
Came here to give me everything
Mother taught me how to sing
Father taught me my rhythm yet i lost my voice
Strangers in the dark, innocent in my heart
Didn't know where to start
Disconnected with my truth
Wandering without rules
Then I found my melody, stirring deep down inside of me
Fear can't stop these new creations inviting me to let go and be free

I stare into the dark and escape my past marks 
Tried to wipe it clean but it seems its all they see 
Everyday I'm pushing forward through they try to pull me back
Concentrating where I'm at and where I've been to on the map 
Tryna stay intact while I'm having flashbacks
Life's been smashed slowly finding my own path
Carving my own sculpture with who I am and what I had
Let me take you back to the story before this rap
See at 10 carefree shoe-less playing in the street 
11 smoking weed teachers nagging at me 
So at 12 life changed confidence evades me
We seen at 13 life wasn't what it seemed 
14 struggling while trying just to eat
15 coming home to a meal prepared for me 
16 no place to sleep contemplating what life means 
17's adversity's couldn't take this hope from me 
18 my knowledge seen started university 
19 it took a turn and I ended up finding work 
20 still not whole working for my final goal 
Music I can hold and helps me keeps in control 
With a light so bright I'm not scared throughout the night
At peace with who I am and I'm making a final amends 
Forgetting what you said and doubt you put in my head 
Finally at rest letting go all regret 
Take these words we've said and love yourself instead

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