Growing Up

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Blvck Spider

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Yea 
I guess i can say that this is a chance, To actually tell you my story
Everything i went through
Everything I've felt
Its really not that easy
But ill do whatever it takes to make The most out of each day

Ricardo's my name
But i like to be called Ricky
I was born in the hospital Mercy
I went to a lot of hospitals to find out What was wrong with me
I was in a hurry at University Of Chicago, where i got surgery

I was only 2 yea my parents were Worried
I almost died early, but god told me i Was worthy
Later on i was praying asking for Mercy
Cuz i never knew that this was gonna Be a rough journey

I grew up, in the suburbs of Chicago
Raised poorly cold like we were in Moscow
I was held stable living in a small Apartment warming up from the Stove
Moving often till we ended up in a Basement that we borrowed

I failed preschool i couldn't speak and Understand a lot of spanish
I had trouble comprehending felt too Anguish
Always quiet never made a lot of Friends
I've been made fun of mostly my Whole life with no dents
It seems like this, where i was sent And i just want this to end

My whole life's been crazy growing Up
Another day to live without any luck
I say I never had it easy growing up
But i ain't never ever giving up

My whole life's been crazy growing Up
Another day to live without any luck
I say I never had it easy growing up
But i ain't never ever giving up

I've been scarred with a scar on my Stomach
Years later i felt pain in my heart
Arrhythmias what i have and some
Day i can be having a heart attack
Like what every girl does ripping my Heart apart
I fought through life, that's why i die Hard 

Always tried to fit in but i was just an Odd number
I tried to stay even, but i wasn't Popular
Mostly got C's and F's, never made it In honors
These bullies that made me look Filthy were hard to conquer

Minooka had some petty preppies
People walked on me, like a Worthless penny
Freshman year i kept ignoring Negative talk from many
I was tired of everything i saw mostly Everyone, as my enemy

All the pain and struggles and Embarrassment
Living independent, I'm intelligent
Analitical thinking what others think But i was still irrelevant
Days got critical i faced bad Judgement
I never listened cuz, i was just too Arrogant

My whole life's been crazy growing Up
Another day to live without any luck
I say I never had it easy growing up
But i ain't never ever giving up

My whole life's been crazy growing Up
Another day to live without any luck
I say I never had it easy growing up
But i ain't never ever giving up

All this nonsense stopped
Moved again problems started Nonstop 
What a disaster time wasn't going Faster tick tock
Gave my heart away and i got ripped Off
I'm pissed off felt the blame and the shame i stayed the same like a broken Clock

Respect was not a thing that i Claimed to unlock
Knock knock, not a single door Opened as i walked
In my life with no opportunities I've Came across a road block
Feels like i lost, now i'm having Writers block

2013 i was having a hard time all the Time
Losing control with anger, sadness, And depression all at once combined
I went to Linden Oaks, that's where i Was assigned
To go i barely passed high school College was a place i went to find

Look at this timeline i created
Most of my memories i hated
My history is a misery i lived it Complicated 
Being isolated from this world and Contaminated air i just deflated
People try to test me but i cant be Dissipated

My whole life's been crazy growing Up
Another day to live without any luck
I say I never had it easy growing up
But i ain't never ever giving up

My whole life's been crazy growing Up
Another day to live without any luck
I say I never had it easy growing up
But i ain't never ever giving up

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