Ham-Fisted

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He tries to strike up conversation on the Underground tube
Sends suggestive texts to the wrong people in his contacts
Goes in for a hug when all you want is a handshake
Holds his hand out for a high five but no one responds

Ham-fisted - he's a social misfit
Ham-fisted - it was transmitted

It started at school when they went to the pool and he wore a verruca sock (They never forgot)
His awkward demeanour, it grew in the seniors, mocked for still doing PE in daps
They called him a homo for wearing speedos and borrowing his sister's bike
Then the harsh humour of the false rumour about massaging his dad's feet

Ham-fisted - he's a social misfit
Ham-fisted - he takes the biscuit

He proudly displays the new astro-turf he's laid, grinning from ear-to-ear
He never understood who needs solid wood when you can have a nice veneer
Does crosswords and turds in other people's houses that simply won't flush away
He's a nice enough guy who'll give anything a try, but doesn't know what to say

Ham-fisted - social misfit
Ham-fisted - should be listed

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