Bras on 45 (Medley)

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Ivor Biggun

Robert "Doc" Cox (born 1 July 1946), also known as Ivor Biggun, is a British musician and former television journalist. He is known for his appearances on the BBC TV programme That's Life! from 1982 to 1992 and for four albums of humorous, smutty songs. Currently resident in Suffolk, he is active in several pub bands, including the Trembling Wheelbarrows. more »

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Bra Size Forty Five
Bra Size Forty Five
Well I went out for a Boogie
A week ago last Tuesday
I was doing the Wigan Hustle and the Palais Glide
I met a girl in pink suspenders
And her buz-whams were stupendous
Like two bald-headed men sitting side by side
She wore a BRA SIZE 45 and she could jump and Jive
And when she stopped dancing, bits of her kept wobbling about
She said You Drive Me Crazy
Burn Some Rubber On Me Baby
She grabbed my little whistle and she began to shout

(Parody of Hit me with your Rhythm stick)
        Hit me with your rhythm stick! Hit me! Hit Me!
        Je t'adore. Ich leibe dich. Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
        Hit me with your rhythm stick!
        I'm six feet tall and five feet thick
        Hit me! Hit me! Hit me!
 
Bra Size Forty Five
Bra Size Forty Five
 I couldn't do nothing but stand and stare
She gave me a hug like a grizzly bear
I couldn't see much I thought I was dead
I had boobs upside my head
 
(Short quote from Ooops Upside My head)
        Boobs upside my head
        Boobs upside my head
 
(Parody of Baggy Trousers by Madness)
        Oh what a front she had
        Enough for me, my brother and dad
        A chest of drawers no doubt
        One with the top drawer half-pulled-out
        Oh what a front she'd got
        Believe me son she'd got the lot
        Right before my eyes
        And she was bra size forty five
 
Er...excuse me, what do I do now?
Man be cool..gotta get down and have a rap.
I beg yer pardon? I think I'll do a talking bit instead!
 
She was the big economy size, her buz-whams were gigantic
Like two fat little boys wrestling under a blanket
The flickering strobes lit up the globes that thrust from her pullover
I think her name was June cause she was Bustin' Out All Over.
She said Can You Feel The Force? D'y'wanna take One Step Beyond?
I said Goodness Gracious Great Balls of Fire, there's a Whole Lot Of Shaking Going On! 
She said Knock On Wood, I'll Blame It On The Boogie now what do you think about that?
I said Oooh heck! It Must Be Jelly cause Jam Don't Shake Like That
Not so much of the Night Fever, more like a belt with a tyre lever
She was not at all pendulous, in fact she was tremendulous!
Bra Size Forty Five
Bra Size Forty-five
Bra Size Forty Five
Bra Size Forty-five
She wore a bra size forty five
And when they played I Will Survive
She went crackers, and her animal desires became much keener
She said John I'm Only Dancing, but I'd rather be romancing
She had me Inside Out And Upside Down in the back of my Cortina*
Hit Me With Your Rhythm Stick
 
(Parody of CARS by Gary Numan)
        And there in my car, the windows all steamed up
        I thought I would drown, she let it all hang out in Bras
        Size Forty Five
        And there in my car, I thought This Is It!
        An Instant Replay, My foot out the window in Bras
        Size Forty Five
 
(Direct quote from Swords Of A Thousand Men by Tenpole Tudor)
          Hoorah hoorah hoorah hey over the hills and now I'm on My way!
          (I got out my tentpole and chewed er)
          Hoorah hoorah hoorah hey over the hills and now I'm on My way!
          (Come on, let's do the Bristol Stomp)
 
She wore a Bra Size Forty Five
I thought I never would revive
When I tackled that young lady with the bounciest of blouses
But she left me for a geezer
Who had much more chance to please er
With his own Master Blaster and a pair of Baggy Trousers.
Oh what  fun they had!
Bra Size Forty Five
Bra Size Forty-five
Bra Size Forty Five
Bra Size Forty-five

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer