Insomnia

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Brandon Evers

2:34

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These pills were meant to help me sleep but all they do is keep me wide awake
Wide awake
This smile I wear upon my face is just a mask and this is all so fake
All so fake

I remember i was sinking
But i didnt think that you were
And there i was thinking that you would always keep composure
But now here you are
All these pills are down your throat your
Supposed to be the strong one but now the dark is taking over
So what did i do
Where did i go wrong
You never understood why i would always cause myself harm
You said you never thought some one could get to far gone
But yet there you were fucking pills in your hand and thats all
Pop a few in your mouth and try to drift away to heaven
Leave me all alone was that supposed to be my lesson
I think i get the message
Every day is a blessing
But all my days are filled with pain and you dont even regret it
What do you think that does to me 
Is this how its supposed to be
If im your reason to live then i am failing you so miserably
This has drained me so bad i think im losing myself mentally 
God im breaking down again these demons need to let me free
I know i wont forget this
Its the hardest thing ive ever faced
You brought me into this world
And tried to leave without a trace
You always seem to miss me with a smile on my face
But ever sincr that evil day ive always felt so out of place
And i wish that you could see that
Im glad your still here
But everyday that goes by
Im always living in fear
Cuz what if you try again
What if you lie again
What if this time
There is no fucking other chance
You dont seem to understand how badly this has broke me
You got lucky this time you only went to sleep shortly
Woke up the next morning with your vision all blury
Didnt tell me until later and that shit really tore me
I just had to let this out
After all of these years
Its been bottled up inside im writing this with my tears
This has probably been the thing that started half of my fears 
So take this as a lesson
You know that i just want you here

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