Happy Here

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The Clusterfuck Theory

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You don’t owe me anything I guess
So I’m left shouldering the blame for all these melancholy months I’ve been depressed
Those nights I turned in early
Most I barely slept
In a room I locked myself inside and stayed
Within arms reach of those who care but too lethargic to accept the offers made
Just wallow in self-pity
Till the room begins to fade
And I’ll recall the days I used to say I was so happy here
You don’t owe me anything at all
But you should know that I appreciate the courtesy of picking up my calls
It helps to buffer sessions
Of staring at the wall
I can’t find motivation anymore
Adopt the term and use “self-care” as an excuse to put off doing any chores
Then I killed a box of Fruit Loops
Left it on the floor
Whilst I recall the days I used to say I was so happy here (I was so happy here)
I’ll find a way to kiss goodbye my bitterness and disappear
Whenever you endear
I'll stew in darkened silence while awaiting your reply
This place feels so much emptier whenever you drop by 6
I think I just need closure; to better fathom why
Why everything we had came to an end
And I know I stated preemptively if this happened, I wanted to stay friends
Though I wish all of my promises were ones that I could keep
They incite cerebral cycles set to sabotage my sleep
I hope I’m not wasting your time; I think I need that talk
Where you say “no hurt feelings, but would you mind fucking off?”
Cos those times are behind us anyways
And, if I’m being honest, I’ve been getting better at getting through the days
But I can’t help thinking late on lonely nights, I was so happy here

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