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Tom Swifty

A Tom Swifty (or Tom Swiftie) is a phrase in which a quoted sentence is linked by a pun to the manner in which it is attributed. Tom Swifties may be considered a type of wellerism. The standard syntax is for the quoted sentence to be first, followed by the description of the act of speaking. The hypothetical speaker is usually, by convention, called "Tom" (or "he" or "she"). more »

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Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician 
Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician 
Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician 
Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician 

Well, I been flipping rhymes for grips of time and just can't seem to quit it now 
This just a warm-up to help you get with my style 
Always wanted to make movies, but this was cheaper--sue me 
Solo now, been in a few crews, been cuffed and treated rudely 
By po-pos with the doors closed and the .44s sticking out the window 
Smokin indo and I don't know when I'll see the sun again, so 
A fistful of dollars all I got until tomorrow 
When I borrow cups of sorrow, feelin vengeful 
I'm Tom Swifty, so my quotes are always nifty 
Call and get me out of bed, I'll slap these rappers till they all silly 
Ah, really? No, on the contrilly, battle-rappin's fun, but I think I'm done 
Or maybe not... feel me 
Flex! One of the questions that needs to be in session 
Is how to liberate our minds before the next election 
This tension is getting hotter and higher in suspension 
To cut it, we'd need a blade sharper than my mind and then some 
Seven years old, ready to roll, ten years later, started to rock it 
Leaving these cats with the mental equivalent of jock-itch 
I got this, son, don't even try to act so ominous 
I posit that I'm peerless, that's a promise 
Nonsense is all I hear and falseness is always clear 
When bosses be calling here to try and get my respect 
Stop this, they call me weird for caustically domineering 
I'm sent from heaven, never been here-keep it a secret 
Shhh... just keep that shit to yourself for now 
I get ya twisted like the liquor on ya shelf-blowe 
Just so ya know, I drop that top flow 
That on-time flow, hey ma, look at me shine flow 
Some call it divine flow, I just spit what I know 
That sorta kinda borderline insanity in my flow 
Lie low, I'm bout to spray y'all, son 
The five-o clock my flow with a radar gun 

Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician 
Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician 
Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician 
Name: Tom Swifty 
Age: none of ya business 
Occupation: witness 
Religion: musician

 Watch: New Singing Lesson Videos Can Make Anyone A Great Singer