Deflated

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The Ambrosia Effect

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Hello darkness my old friend, it's been a while
I knew I'd once again see you, as soon as I smiled
You can't let me be happy, you can't let me healthy
So sadly had to put a mask on, every selfie
I can't let my momma worry, we've been through too much
I can't tell my girlfriend, cuz she'll change her touch
I've seen it all happen, outside looking in
Now that it's my insides, I just want it to end
Hello depression, I noticed you creeping
I blame you for my exhaustion, cause you visit me weekly
You helped me build a wall, til I run out of bricks
When it crumbles and falls, I start all over again
I can't help it, I'm helpless, if I left I'd be selfish
I've felt it, I know would never find peace if I ever dealt it
So here I am writing, this is my form of fighting
No more with the hiding, and
No more with holding, it in
The reapers waiting, I know I can't win
There's a chance, so tell me
Should I take it
Hello deflation, you surprise me when I'm elated
Though it was a facade I created, til that has too faded
I want my siblings to see me, alright in the head
Will they see what I want them to or the truth instead
Or the problems I'm faced with, being woke is not the greatest
Don't be controlled by your thinking, let me know if you're ever aching
I just want y'all to know no matter what, you all can make it
Don't be like me and let your talents go wasted
Deflated, defeated, desperate in despair
Depression and darkness destroy me in there
Defensive and more distant daily, disappointed in my self
Deep in denial that I'm not beyond help

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