Journal

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Michael Ricciardi

4:12

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Never gonna be what I wanna say 
Always gonna be in my own way 
Never gonna 'scape all of this pain 
Always gonna be trapped in my brain 
Trynna find my way outta this maze 
Trynna find the heart that I locked away 
I have some things that I really need t'say
Y'all gonna be my journal for the day

Spinnin' my head right round 
Like a record baby 
Being put down 
Give me all the sound 
Morphine in my ears 
As I drown it out 
I always seem to fade away 
Always seem to hide away 
Everything I wanna say 
But that's not today 
I'm gonna be 
Talkin' bout my feelings 
As I fall apart at the seams 
The world is decimating 
Every part of me 
Gotta be 
Better than I used to be 
Protect my girl from everything 
Especially 
The thoughts inside my head 
Fightin' like a war 
And I'm so sore 
Shot through my heart 
And it's been torn 
Sittin' on the floor 
Trynna figure out 
How to get out 
Of this place that doubt built 
And I can't seem to find my fill 
Of the life I know is still  
Out there for me 
Even if I can't seem 
To find a thing 
Find even a shred of reprieve 
As I try to see 
Past all of the negativity 
That's sittin' right in front of me 
Negative is all I see 
Yeah
In front of me
Yeah
'Cause nothin' seems to work right
Nothin' ever is fine
Never seem to lock tight
All the positivity
Everything I always need
Only ever just a dream
Cause there's never a cure for me
I'm just trying to stay afloat
In this leaky boat
As I float away
In this lake that my tears made
'Cause

Never gonna be what I wanna say
Always gonna be in my own way
Never gonna 'scape all of this pain
Always gonna be trapped in my brain
Trynna find my way outta this maze
Trynna find the heart that I locked away
I have some things that I really need t'say
Y'all gonna be my journal for the day

Sittin' here I'm thinkin'
'Bout all that I coulda been
All that I should've said
And everything I wish I'd did
Every time
Every try
Every lie that I make
Every time
I say it's fine
When it's not okay
When I cry
When I die
A little more inside
As I try to find
Another way to get to the light
It's getting harder to see
What's in front of me
The future is depressing
And my present is bleak
I'm hyperventilating
As we speak
4 seconds in
8 seconds out
Do it over and over again
Until I pass out
I'm just trynna hold myself up
When it's all fallen down
But I guess I'm stuck
In this place that makes me feel like I'm just not enough. Yuh
Like I'm not enough
Like I'm just stuck
In this hell
That I made for myself
And it'll never change
I'll never change. Yuh
Never change what's inside me
I try to see
All the beauty
Within everything
But I'll never get the chance to see
All the blooming
Flowers and the trees
Everything that makes me happy
I'll never see
No
Cause

Never gonna be what I wanna say
Always gonna be in my own way
Never gonna 'scape all of this pain
Always gonna be trapped in my brain
Trynna find my way outta this maze
Trynna find the heart that I locked away
I had some things I really had t'say
Thanks for being my journal for the day

 Struggling with Journal? Become a better singer in 30 days with these videos!