Marlana Maid of Plastic
Jonathan Markwood's Hoo-Hah Conspiracy
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Saul was quiet he was the kind Who's never wild, a librarian's mind His dream was something he just hid Tightly locked away with a Tupperware lid So neatly filing books on his own You'd never know it but when he gets home He's drinking whisky strong cigarettes Choosing out her lipstick and then getting her dressed He loves her more and more each day that passes He adores the way the lass just waits for him at home Marlane All dressed up in red elastic Saul's perfect girlfriend looks fantastic A perma smile repaired with Mastic The best thing ever made from plastic She's got a friend lives in the attic For threesomes she's enthusiastic His love life now has gone galactic Her favourite food is eels in aspic Drastic A little later about half past ten He takes her to a bar and then fake walks in Says 'I saw you standing all on your own You look so pretty can I take you home?' His only wish is one day she'd just turn to him and Say something at least she never ever wears a frown He don't care what the others say Love won't ever wear away And his favourite safe words 'late fees due' Sol can't be certain but he's thinking that he'd Left her in the kitchen now she's nowhere to be found
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