I'll Make It Different

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Jakeypoo

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So cold
Oh how I've come to miss the feeling 'cause
I can no longer feel these bones

In these conditions, these hands are no good
Of no use to anything productive

And would there only be feeling
If I could just be in your presence again

I watch the snow pass on by
And I wonder why I think all too much about what doesn't matter at all
At all, at all, at all
At all

This cold
Shivers me to my core
In this reminiscence
Of what once was

I know that if you saw me
And where I've been in this time since you've left
You wouldn't want to be by my side

I never prepared for this
But that you're not here
To keep me warm when these days get tough
Is something that I was never ready for

So I'd watch the snow pass on by
And I would wonder why I think all too much
About everything that doesn't matter at all

And now I see how I never wondered why
This sight used to discern the wrong from right
It looks like I've just gone blind
I've cast out such light, protruding from these eyes

I missed the point of seeing
What's directly in front of me
As if these eyes could have bore to see
This Truth underlying comfort and insecurity

There's just no other way my narrow seeing could see myself surviving this storm otherwise
But I guess it must be
Known that I'm much better off this way
Self-pity only exists when I know you don't want my company

I noticed how I've invested too much time into indulgence
And nothing that I could resonate with in my soul
How long has everything been like this?

I watched all I know pass me by
And I now question why I think about everything that doesn't matter at all

Have I missed the point of all of this
Will I learn to not succumb to it
Or will I just find myself another victim?

When you walk right among me
I still subscribe to deception
That I otherwise do when without you
It doesn't serve anything in this heart

How can I be so stupid as to fall for these same things
Over and over and over and over and over and over and over again

When I can just move to something better in such blessings

So I'll make sure it's different
So I'll make sure it's different
I'll make it different
I'll make it different
I'll make a difference

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