This Is Why We Dance

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Rickey Goraya

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Home in my memory is a green, worn out couch
And my grandmother in every poem
Every jasmine picked off the backlash
Every backlash picked off the tear gas
And tear gas healed with yogurt and onions
With resilience
With women chanting and drumming
On pots and pans
With goddamns and hasbiyallah’s
Motherfuckers work tanks but we know stones
(2008 – The Gaza Bombings)
My ritual of watching T.V
Ran between the grieving
And Egyptian belly dance music
And I fluctuated between hatred and adoration
Stacking and hording Darwish’s reasons to live
“On this land, there’s which makes life worth living”
Sometimes believing them
Sometimes dipping my bread in indulgence
Knowing a child is breadless, in Khan Yunis
Dipped in a roof’s rubble…
If you ask me where I’m from it’s not a one-word answer
Be prepared and seated, breathless and geared
And if hearing about a world other than yours
Makes you uncomfortable
Well, drink the sea
Cut off your ears
Blow another bubble to bubble your bubble and the pretense
Blow another town of bodies in the name of fear
This is why we dance
My father told me: “Anger is a luxury that we cannot afford”
Be composed, calm, still – laugh when they ask you
Smile when they talk, answer them
Educate them
This is why we dance
Because if I speak, I’m dangerous
You open your mouth
You raise your eyebrows
You point your fingers
This is why we dance
Wounded feet but the rhythm remains
This is why we dance
Because no matter how many adjectives you stack upon my shoulders
I define me
This is why we dance
Because even my poetry isn’t free
Now can you please just tell me
Why is anger –even anger- a luxury
To me?

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