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Jack BennyJack Benny 

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Jack Benny

Jack Benny (born Benjamin Kubelsky; February 14, 1894 – December 26, 1974) was an American comedian, vaudevillian, radio, television and film actor, and violinist. Recognized as a leading 20th-century American entertainer, Benny often portrayed his character as a miser, playing his violin badly, and claiming to be 39 years of age, regardless of his actual age. Benny was known for his comic timing and the ability to cause laughter with a pregnant pause or a single expression, such as his signature exasperated "Well!" His radio and television programs, popular from 1932 until his death in 1974, were a major influence on the sitcom genre. more »

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When do you first know that you are gay?
Asking for a friend
And what will your mother or your father say?
Asking for a friend
And if I were too - not that that'd be true
With the boys, could I contend?
Oh, I can't imagine to ask for myself
So I'm asking for a friend

Where do you learn how to walk in heels?
Asking for a friend
And which make-up maker has the cheapest deals?
Asking for a friend
And if I wore a dress, could my appearance impress
Or would you laugh and condescend?
Oh, I can't imagine to ask for myself
So I'm asking for a friend...

A made-up friend
Shaded by discretion
Yearning to remove their caked repression
And learning not to blush so you can't see
I'm asking for me...

I'm asking - for a friend
And who can foresee the kind of human you'll be?
Asking for a friend
But if I should share to peers who'll no longer care
Upon whom would I depend?
So I'll spare the risk that I may offend
And then save the time I'd spend to defend
And pretend by masking that I'm asking for a friend....

I'm asking for me
I'm asking - for a friend

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